Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML
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Top comments
HerpYourDerp 7
What do you mean, "again"? How many times has that snake been missing in your apartment?
Buttsexpirate 9
While in the bathroom you're gonna hear "Feed me ssssseymour!"
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Comments (131)
BlacOpsMaximus 5
First!
EvilPotato 15
^ who invited this loser.
HerpYourDerp 7
What do you mean, "again"? How many times has that snake been missing in your apartment?
Isoldael 27
Snakes (especially corn snakes, but I don't know what kind of snake OP's roommate has) are real escape artists - I've had my snakes escape several times as well. All it takes is the tiniest of openings, and they'll be gone. Of course, in many cases this can be prevented. In my case, by keeping my little brother away from my vivarium :p. Anyhow, OP, what kind of snake is it? I doubt it would be a species that is dangerous to humans.
Blissfull_Sin 7
Wat kind of snakes are attracted to blood? That confused me
icefshng8 9
No snakes are attracted to blood. Wild snakes eat live food. The only reason they'll eat dead food in captivity, is because they are tricked into it. Any snake that can simply "get lost" multiple times, isn't a very big snake. No need to fear op! Your roomate is just trying to scare you.
yankfan89 27
Seriously kill the snake so it doesn't happen again
bitchslapped22 14
3 times
Isoldael 27
As for snakes eating dead animals and being attracted to blood - there is generally no need to "trick" them into eating, unless you call putting dead mice next to them "tricking". Some snakes will refuse to eat that. It's generally advised to cut the mouse up a little or open up its skull so that the smell of organs and blood is stronger. Most snakes will eat then, so apparently the smell of blood does do something.
CaptainTwiggy 0
Be a good friend, OP. Walk around naked to help her find her snake.
DjeePee 25
She even doesn't have to walk around naked. Snakes can smell very good, so he's probably already slithering in her pants.
CaptainTwiggy 0
Probably. I'm sure it'd be far more fun to look for a snake while naked, though. Leaving a trail of blood behind yourself is a real mood setter.
narrowords 18
They can smell very well? I don't think they smell good, but then again, I'm not a snake sniffer...
ILoveCTP 3
They can. My hand smelled like mouse so mine bit me
Buttsexpirate 9
While in the bathroom you're gonna hear "Feed me ssssseymour!"
Adman567 9
Haha LSH
Carlie_McCartney 1
Oh, then you should have no trouble at all finding him :)
javierb88 3
Feelsgoodman
pitchblease 2
Snake here, I just wanted to let you know your roommate intentionally let's me out, she hates you. PS: I'm gonna kill you b!tch!
theevilduchess 12
Bahahaha! That's bloody great!
gurly98 13
What da crap dude
Justforlolz 14
9- ... the ****?
reptileguy1296 0
Snakes aren't attracted to blood as their primary diet consists of lizards, mice, rats, eggs, frogs, and other small animals. There's no way a nonvenomous snake under 15 ft. could kill you, btw.
leadman1989 16
**** A DUCK! I'm trying to come up with a generic catch phrase for when bad things happen how's that one?
1958x 6
Why is the snake missing "again"?
leadman1989 16
Snakes on a plane < Snakes on a pad