Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
No way she'll be a Karen
Today, while picking names for our unborn daughter, my mom decided to help by providing a list of names she absolutely won’t accept because they’re all women she hates for insane reasons. It has over 300 common names on it. Every time we pick another name, boom, there it is on her damn list. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
Top comments
oj101 33
Maybe it's time to rehabilitate your relationship with your daughter? That's pretty disturbing, and wouldn't have had come thoughtlessly to her.
Dramori 29
Give birth to her.
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Comments (135)
orebes 3
What did you do to her to make her put you on the list?
Dramori 29
Give birth to her.
Ks22 4
So now we blame the victim when someone does something batshit crazy?
Metallica36176 16
Didn't buy the right model car for her sweet sixteen...
ambowew 7
That daughter came into the world kicking and screaming, and covered in the someone else's blood. It looks like she doesn't mind leaving it the same way.
yenidewi 11
funny pic ... :)
oj101 33
Maybe it's time to rehabilitate your relationship with your daughter? That's pretty disturbing, and wouldn't have had come thoughtlessly to her.
oj101 33
*in normal circumstances.
freshberries22 17
This is one of those situations in which communication is a must. It literally might save the op's life.
ICastillo 25
Yeah but damn that chick crazy!!!
hunteer9 5
Well their getting trained younger and younger these days.
QueenOfAwkwardd 14
*they're
olpally 33
*chocolate
hunteer9 5
Don't care**
SApprentice 34
97- Why be so snarky? It's very respectable to remember to differentiate between "they're", "there", and "their".
KiddNYC1O 22
Trained? It's negative influences. Though I think you're being sarcastic... I hope...
Hershey903 5
It's not an FML if she has a hit list. It's an FML if names are crossed off.
chiripa 3
Slap Countdown
loloalltheway 23
Marshall style
Liamj774 36
Ayyyyy sexy barney
I_Like_Dogs 28
Did she seek the three slap masters too?
macanderson 2
I am so sorry to hear that...hope u sit with her and understand what wen wrong
connerwonner 7
I don't know if sitting down with her is such a good idea. She is on her hit list.
cis1den 0
She dont forget does she!!
KrazieKleo 13
You're right. She doesn't forget. But you obviously do.
TEZZ 24
maybe she knows someone with the same name?
yoursucklives 36
not if she put "mom" on the list
Ks22 4
Regardless she still has a hitlist and that is pretty disturbing
TomPusslicker 21
Maybe shes been to prison, and met an abusive butch lesbian only known as 'mom'...lol yeah, probably not.
Pleonasm 36
Is she the Hit-Girl from Kickass?
Warden1986 16
No, shes your daughter. Bad enough Shepard had to save you're pussy son in Mass Effect! ( going off your profile picture)
Pleonasm 36
I have but Kolyat. Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness for this one's error. Kalahira, this one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention.
MalloryKnox 8
Hey now! Kolyat wasn't a pussy.. He was just a misguided, young Drell with some daddy issues to work out.. And can you blame him?! @10 was never there when he needed him :(
Pleonasm 36
My duty as a Drell was to fulfill the compact, and Irikah had to be avenged. Watch your words, 56. I may have departed from my body but my soul still remains: Amonkira guides me yet and I have proven a better assassin than original poster's daughter.
Warden1986 16
Shepard would still beat you.
LordoftheOcelots 10
So? I have one.
eggmarie 25
You need to get help...
SApprentice 34
Hey, at least she's thinking and contemplating things, trying to mentally sort through her problems. Those thoughts are almost certainly benign- it's probably just a coping mechanism. It's immature, but the girl could still be young. If she's about 13 years old or so then making an angry 'hit list' would be fairly normal. It's probably not that she's actually daydreaming about causing harm to others, just that she's mulling over the bad things that have been done to her by someone, then scrawling that person's name down along side the names of others, presumably with a giant "I HATE YOU" written angrily beside it. It's just angsty kid behavior.
xcarxcrashx 9
I disagree. I feel like these days you have to take stuff like that seriously.
Krajjan 9
51- Yeah, because GTA and Halo are turning kids into murder machines, right? I'm sure if she were sociopathic or bordering on psychotic rage, someone would have noticed. An early teen saying she wishes you were dead is normal. There's a huge psychological leap between "I want to kill someone" and someone dying. I know this from military experience. Just start taking precautions if she's watching you sleep...
Neva_fml 10
Is this stemming from your profile pic?....
Krajjan 9
82- Yes. I'm Friedrich the Dancing Nazi.