The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 20 March 2023, 02:00

Countdown

Today, I finally got all of my finances to move out of my house. My mother, instead of being happy for me for moving out of her house, blames me because she needs my rent money, states I will not be happy out in the world and disowned me because I didn't move out when she wanted me to. She wanted me to stay until she was 55. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101 You deserved it 96

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cynical · 5 October 2020, 05:01 ·Toronto, Canada

Alexa, play "I'm a Realist" by The Cribs

Today, I was reading a romance story about a couple that fights, but gets back together and works out their issues. I was rooting for the breakup because I've become so cynical, I think forgiveness is weak and trust is for suckers. Yup, I'm now heartless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873 You deserved it 509

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Anonymous · 11 October 2020, 14:02 ·Estonia 🌶️ Spicy

I don't wanna

Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232 You deserved it 398

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2B single · 12 August 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Dodging a bullet

Today, at a Con, I saw a girl in an impressive cosplay of a character from one of my favorite video games. I complimented her on her costume and got a picture with her. Later, my girlfriend called me a cheating creep and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619 You deserved it 159

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Ceecee · 22 March 2023, 04:00 ·United States

Fresh air

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611 You deserved it 250

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YoungBlood · 16 August 2024, 00:00 ·Australia

Age gap

Today, I found out that when my mum had introduced me to her boyfriend, it was right before his birthday, so she'd rounded his age up. For two years I thought he was seven and a half years older than me, when really he's actually six and a half years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173 You deserved it 379

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That guy · 15 October 2020, 17:01

So you had a bad day…

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 16 August 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Is everything OK?

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 25 October 2020, 02:02 ·Tampa, United States

PSA

Today, I just spent 3 hours at work reading FML posts and giggling at my desk. For the blurred out posts, I was moving my desk chair back to read what they said while squinting. I just realized I can hover the mouse and it will be clear and not blurry anymore. Now I have a headache and got in trouble with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195 You deserved it 1 617

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Nnn · 11 July 2019, 12:00

Making new friends

Today, my coworker came to my desk, so I greeted him with a smile, and said, "Hello friend." He then told me that we are not friends, and that he hates when I say that. Oh, OK, sorry for trying to be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769 You deserved it 564

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Anonymous · 19 March 2026, 15:00

Bridezilla situation is crazy

Today, at our wedding, my wife screamed at her niece and made a big scene about her wearing a white dress. Her niece is four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508 You deserved it 78

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Anonymous · 28 August 2024, 12:00

Absolutely disgusting

Today, my boyfriend uses the same thermos mug for everything he drinks; water, coffee, cider, vodka, everything. This afternoon, I looked inside and it was slimy and black in places. I demanded to know when he last washed it. His answer, “Um, when did I buy it?” I can’t kiss him anymore, I feel sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 3 April 2026, 00:00

On the move

Today, my wife and I realized that we made a huge mistake in allowing our son to stay behind and live with my parents when we had to move cross-country due to work. Our lives are so empty without him and we're missing out on watching him grow up, but he refuses to come live with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 You deserved it 651

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Anonymous · 9 April 2023, 11:00 ·United Kingdom

He hath risen

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 200

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Anonymous · 13 April 2023, 16:00 ·Taichung, Taiwan

Caught in 404p

Today, I had a job interview at Walmart. They showed a video of me stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174 You deserved it 2 043

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Anonymous · 16 April 2023, 10:00 ·Naga, Philippines

Control

Today, I dated my friend’s ex-crush, but she was mad about it. I know about "Girl Code" but the thing is they never dated, so it didn’t count. She’s also in a relationship now with a different dude, so either she hasn't moved on from him or she feels possessive of him. Now I "don’t belong" to their friend group anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906 You deserved it 219

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Anonymous · 18 April 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Fresh

Today, I decided to get a haircut to change up my look. I asked for a bob, but the hairstylist misunderstood and gave me some sort of bowl cut. I look like a '90s sitcom character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722 You deserved it 194

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heartbroken · 17 April 2023, 18:00 ·United States

Freedom

Today, I’m devastated that I had to completely sever all ties with my mother. She’s a hyper religious zealot who’s gone as far as to threaten to kidnap my children in order to get them baptized after I refused to raise them in her archaic, abusive, oppressive cult-like “church”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196 You deserved it 170

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Day · 21 January 2022, 02:01

Bad times

Today, I got an email stating that my scholarship request was denied, 51 days after applying with no response. I'm now forced to drop-out from my college degree because I ran out of money, and I've been unsuccessful at finding a job for two years either, thanks to Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354 You deserved it 239

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No Expectations No Disappointments · 18 September 2024, 14:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Great expectations

Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 120

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coriander · 5 March 2022, 00:01

Coming in last

Today, my evil twin sister was preparing for her prom. When I saw her trying on her dress, she looked at me and said, “First to get a boyfriend, a prom date, and into college. Maybe you’ll die first?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024 You deserved it 103

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Cass · 20 April 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Worst friend

Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 912

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Manny Managerson · 23 November 2020, 20:01 ·United States

The Terminator

Today, a furious woman stormed into my job, demanding to know why I fired her precious baby boy. I explained that watching porn on the clock is grounds for termination. She screamed that I was lying about him and that she’ll see me in court for slandering him. I had to call the cops to make her leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321 You deserved it 87

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Aleksandar · 25 November 2020, 05:01

Interpreter blues

Today, at the hospital, I had to tell someone he was going to die because I was the only one to speak his language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300 You deserved it 73

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Anonymous · 14 February 2022, 04:00 ·Germany

Schrödinger's internet

Today, and for years, we keep getting offers for ultra high speed internet from the new fibre optic cables they put in. Whenever we ask the provider whether these cables are actually physically available at our address, they tell us they don’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859 You deserved it 108

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goodbye grades · 15 March 2022, 00:01

Puppy love

Today, I spent more than 5 hours transcribing all the notes from my computer to a notebook then to flash cards, to drill myself for a physics test. Even though my bedroom door was closed, my mom let our new puppy in so it wouldn’t be scared by the vacuum. Yes, it peed and chewed on my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 1 October 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Stingy git

Today, my boss found out that I have a second job in a similar industry and tried to fire me for disloyalty, industrialist espionage, theft of intellectual property, you name it. I need a second job because he pays peanuts, and it’s a specialised skill set so I got a similar job just for convenience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479 You deserved it 134

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Anonymous · 6 May 2023, 15:00

Foot soldiers unite

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work and spent the entire day hobbling around in discomfort. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had forgotten to take remnants of the packing foam out of the tips of the shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 1 144

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Anonymous · 13 May 2023, 15:00 ·Barnsley, United Kingdom

Unpleasant

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 25 March 2022, 00:01 🌶️ Spicy

Assumptions

Today, my ex messaged me on Facebook, wanting to be friends with benefits. I’m married now, and he just found out his wife is expecting. She discovered the messages, and I’m now the “home wrecker.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170 You deserved it 116

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