The Top

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Compassion

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 00:00

Today, we recently had to unplug our mom from life support. We decided it together as a family, but as her medical proxy, I was the one who had to tell the hospital to do it. Now half my family members don’t talk to me, like I decided all on my own to kill her behind their backs. I want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 106

In the eye of the beholder

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 18:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 130

Parenting done right

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 03:59

Today, my husband was surprised to learn that I am planning on celebrating our daughter's first day at school. He is now pissed that we did not "decide on this together." Who doesn't celebrate their child's first school day? FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 446

Skipped town

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 00:01

Today, I went to my girlfriend's apartment, but it was empty. I went to her parents' house, it was empty as well. She isn’t responding to my messages, so I guess I got ghosted in real life and online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 147

What are friends for?

By Anastasya - 14/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I asked my best male friend to help repair my car because it broke down. He responded, “Why don’t you ask the lovely guy you’re dating instead, since obviously he’s better than me?” Apparently he’s still upset I didn’t reciprocate his romantic feelings and chose someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 029

When feral kids attack

By GracieGirl - 04/10/2019 06:00

Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 115

Unfair

By I'm not a junkie ffs - 26/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was dismissed because of my company's strict "no drugs" policy. Yesterday, I had a talk with my team leader and confessed that I have to take antidepressants; this arse then reported it to the management, and they fired me because they are not aware of what these pills contain, and it could affect my performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 154

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 02:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 190

It's not a phase, Mom!

By worried mama - 31/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my daughter, who is going through a vegan phase, pulled the plug for our garage chest freezer, where we store our meat. That's $1200 of meat, rotten. My husband is so mad that he's been at the gym for six hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 176

Hold frame

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 14:01 - Australia - Thornleigh

Today, my stepfather-to-be yelled at me, insisting I take my nose piercing out, because it will "ruin the wedding photos" since I'm a bridesmaid. It's a tiny diamante stud, no bigger than a small pinhead. He then went on a rant about how I need to respect his authority in the family. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 161

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 321

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 163

Chili beans

By Caroline Ballard Turner - 22/12/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to find that there has been a water main break in my neighborhood and there is no running water until the break is located and fixed. I had chili with beans late last night and it is wreaking havoc with my lower gastrointestinal tract, and the toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 130

You deserved it 243

What did you do?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 06:00

Today, at my niece's christening, I was outside with family when we suddenly heard shouting and the priest pushing my husband outside while screaming, “GET OUT OF MY CHURCH!” Friar Tuck style. It’s been six hours and husband still won’t tell me what he did that upset a priest that badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 134

Listen up during Sex Ed

By PregoPattie - 08/02/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a senior in high school. I’m not sure who the father is since I was in a situationship with one guy after my ex, and I broke it off last Halloween. My parents strictly forbade me from dating until I was in college, so I don’t know how to tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 1 005

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 929

Missed opportunities

By say what?! - 10/04/2020 08:00

Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 537

Mismatched

By AlexSnower - 12/04/2020 02:00

Today, I'm trying to get over my OCD by wearing 2 different shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 449

Rookie mistake

By Grounded4Life - 14/08/2021 14:01

Today, I got grounded, got my bedroom door taken away and my phone is only allowed before 5 p.m. Never comment how many points you got on a public Facebook post involving a quiz about sex if your mom is friends with you, she’ll see everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 2 430

Blasphemy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 12:00

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 383

Take it easy

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 16:01

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 1 906

One step beyond

By Go vegan! - 06/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 412

Asking for it

By Anonymous - 28/05/2020 17:00

Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 708

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 20/08/2018 20:42 - Canada - Markham

Today, after he fought tooth and nail to win me back, my boyfriend had to break up with me. His parents found out he was dating while he was studying abroad, and are bringing him home. He told me that his parents knew about me and were really fond of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 383

You deserved it 204

By ohtheirony - 19/08/2018 18:30

Today, I scratched my car with a bottle of scratch remover deeply enough that the scratch remover couldn't remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 607

Gross out

By Ewt - 06/12/2019 05:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 200

Kitchen nightmares

By Accident-prone af - 07/07/2020 20:02

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 228

Wait til you're 50

By Seriously - 08/01/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I've reached the age where I get really dizzy and my vision blurs if I stand up too fast. I'm 19 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 224

Bulk buying

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 02:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 423

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The Top

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 997

You deserved it 4 017

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 367

You deserved it 4 230

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 3 351

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 682

You deserved it 6 051

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 596

You deserved it 49 465

Today, it was my third day at my new job. It was super hectic; before long, I got so confused and overwhelmed, I had a full-blown emotional breakdown in front of my coworkers. My boss offered sympathy, telling me I could go home and he would never make me work on days like that again, but I still feel pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 297