Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
Today, I took Viagra so we could have sex at bedtime. We fell asleep afterwards, but I must've had a reaction to the Viagra as it was still erect this morning and must have been erect all night, way longer than 4 hours. I went straight to hospital as my penis was numb and pale blue. Help me. FML
Today, I had to take Viagra. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend had one of her seizures during foreplay. She’s fine, but I’m not, she had my penis in her hand and while seizing she squeezed it so hard she ruptured some blood vessels on the inside. I'm now walking bowlegged and on medication to stop me getting erections that might cause more damage. FML
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up with a boner and found out that I have retrograde ejaculation. I'm stuck in jail and can't get medication to fix this. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
Needles near that nono zone to drain off the pressure/blood... OUCH! hope it is all good and a lower dosage next time will work for what you need.
Marcella1016 32
Could you take like half a Viagra?
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Comments (7)
JackWood 21
But did you get laid before you went to the hospital?
RichardPencil 32
I hope you put it to good use before you went to the hospital. I believe you get 4 hours before you need to seek medical attention. Before that, you can hold your girlfriend's attention and any horny ladies in the vicinity.
Thaylok 17
Needles near that nono zone to drain off the pressure/blood... OUCH! hope it is all good and a lower dosage next time will work for what you need.
Nico97 3
sounds like OP’s life was quite hard for a time
Marcella1016 32
Could you take like half a Viagra?
RichardPencil 32
You don't want to spend all that money for a semi. A semi is worse than totally floppy. A semi means you could get hard but you're not trying hard enough.
Marcella1016 32
I assumed it meant the erection would last half as long, not get half as hard. Guess I didn’t think about it long or hard enough.
Chazzster 32
Dosage! Viagra comes in various strengths and the big ones can be cut in half. I assumed you were prescribed viagra by an MD. They should have told you how much to take and when to take it.
tiptoppc 21
If you have blood pressure issues, get it under control. I think that may be the biggest reason for a lot of ED. Keep in mind, viagra was originally developed as a blood pressure med (of whuch it sucked at) but the side effect (*ahem* “feature”) was boners when getting them were hard (see what I did there?). I’m normal weight for my height, but my immune system issues have kept my blood pressure high (i also have stage 2 renal due to an illness that caused all of this, including an aneurysm), but once blood pressure drops, it’s easier to get into the mood when it comes down to a decent pressure. Try the blood pressure thing first. It’s possible that’s all you need.