Today, I realised I’m allergic to sperm. I was a virgin until recently and my vagina always seemed to itch for days after sex, and I thought that might be normal, but then today I agreed to let my boyfriend facial me and within minutes I had a massive rash everywhere it touched my skin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
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Top comments
Blimix 9
Probably allergy, yes. But there was also a horrifying story here years ago, involving a skin reaction to microscopic parasites in the guy's sperm. You may want a dermatologist to confirm that it's just an allergic reaction. (Or just see if you have that same reaction to someone else's sperm. It's awkward as hell, but cheaper than a dermatologist visit.)
DoctorPALO 14
It could be a reaction to something he eats or drinks, or if he's a smoker or drinks alcohol. Probably best to see a doctor.
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Comments (7)
Blimix 9
Probably allergy, yes. But there was also a horrifying story here years ago, involving a skin reaction to microscopic parasites in the guy's sperm. You may want a dermatologist to confirm that it's just an allergic reaction. (Or just see if you have that same reaction to someone else's sperm. It's awkward as hell, but cheaper than a dermatologist visit.)
RichardPencil 32
Cum on! Do you expect me to believe that? I thought I've semen everything, but you think I'm going to buy all that ****? Hah, I'm no spooge!
DoctorPALO 14
It could be a reaction to something he eats or drinks, or if he's a smoker or drinks alcohol. Probably best to see a doctor.
1known 34
You found a good way for men to ask for such a delicate move: « it’s just for your health babe, to see if you’re allergic ». More seriously, sorry for you, but before jumping to such conclusion, go see a doctor to talk about that reaction.
FinkiusMaximus 9
Not a doctor, but it may be more likely that your body is reacting to a component of semen and not the sperm specifically. And if it's just with your boyfriend, it may be something to do with his diet. Talk to a specialist, and use condoms until then. Good luck!
RichardPencil 32
Lots of people use the terms sperm and semen interchangeably when one is actually a component of the other. Kinda like concrete and cement.
protoskore 27
be thankful you aren't into swallowing. seriously. this week I learned some folks have to make a run to the toilet shortly after swallowing because a protein in the seminal fluid can cause massive bowel irritation :(
SupraJerv 3
have someone else do it, maybe he's diseased...