Today, I found out that the giant tumour on my leg isn’t cancerous or dangerous. My mom cried, and I was super relieved. Later on, I heard her on the phone in tears because now she won’t be able to get a free vacation or home renovations from the Make A Wish foundation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
Today, I saw a Facebook post from my mom about my cancer, how she’s exhausted caring for me, and quit her job to be by my side, blah blah blah. The woman hasn’t set foot in my house in 11 months after I got a restraining order against her, and my "cancer" is a mole I’m getting removed next week. FML
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML
Today, I found out that my mother, who's been against me seeking treatment for my cancer, has been going to different churches and charities to get donations for her "poor ailing daughter." I've not seen a dime of this money, and my mom just tells me to pray my cancer away. FML
Today, I found out that my mother doesn't have Alzheimer's disease. This would be joyous news, except for the fact that one year prior to this day my grandmother lied to me so that I'd stay closer to home. I've been worrying over a nonexistent illness for an entire year. FML
Today, I discovered that, according to her primary doctor, my mom never had cancer. That explains why she has the new iPhone, a plethora of designer purses, and a brand new Tesla. Turns out, I’ve been fueling her shopping spree habit, rather than her “cancer and chemotherapy treatments.” FML
Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML
Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML
Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML
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Top comments
Jon Tessler 14
your mom is a lousy human being, also make a wish doesn't do "free home renovations"
Silver_helmet 10
Sometimes we find that close family is not so close. As grown ups we can even understand why some people in the family were not super interested in being more than acquaintances with the rest. Happy for you that it is a benign tumor.
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Comments (7)
Silver_helmet 10
Sometimes we find that close family is not so close. As grown ups we can even understand why some people in the family were not super interested in being more than acquaintances with the rest. Happy for you that it is a benign tumor.
Dirtysalamander1 13
what you're trying to say is we can't pick who is blood but we do can pick who is family
Jon Tessler 14
your mom is a lousy human being, also make a wish doesn't do "free home renovations"
Dirtysalamander1 13
you about to loose your leg. so it will be fine. Richard, you a pansie.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, but you still have a giant tumor! I'll bet your mom is disappointed that her kid is a freak and she won't be able to cash in on it. She'd probably be impressed if you joined a circus and charged people to look at your leg situation. Tell them it's an alien or your unborn twin. Scary!
cuz803 46
Lmao your mom is cheap and scummy. She values the vacation over your health. Not the best mom or person in the world.
Hangryko 32
Why was your mom planning on using *your* wish? I have zero respect for her for attempting that.
Brightside86 31
The image of your mom trying to coach you into using make a wish for home renovations is pretty funny. Parents trying to steal a wish is disgustingly common and MaW is aware of this.