Today, I sent my abusive girlfriend a text, explaining I was breaking up with her via text because I was afraid for my physical safety if I broke up with her in person. She video chatted me less than five seconds later from our doctor's office, where the doctor confirmed she is in fact pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
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Top comments
juggalo2 22
You could just pay child support. You shouldn't feel forced to stay with her or coparent.
bobsanction 18
Change your name, flee the country, move to Nepal, live as a goat.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Now, you're really up shit's creek, Dad. You need to flee out of state and join the Witness Protection Plan. She was abusive as just a girlfriend, imagine how bad she'll be as a Mama Grizzly!
juggalo2 22
You could just pay child support. You shouldn't feel forced to stay with her or coparent.
Nightbird827 15
he shouldn't have to pay child support if she's the abusive one!
Ambrily 27
How is that the baby's fault?
Hangryko 32
@Nightbird827 - 100% wrong.
Warp1978 15
This is the advice I would have given, she's abusive and you feel unsafe, stay away and pay child support. Remember! Document your injuries and build a case just incase she holds the pregnancy over you to make you come back.
bobsanction 18
Change your name, flee the country, move to Nepal, live as a goat.
xxlk4xx 6
honestly I still wouldn't get back with her! if you can I would even try for custody, if she's abusive to you she could be abusive to your kid as well!
Matthew Smith 13
That’s not a great situation, if you have proof of abuse you could go to court for full custody. Or change your name, dye your hair and move to Scotland
iknoweverything 2
Man I feel for you. I know what it’s like to have a kid in an abusive relationship. Hope things work out
Bonniibiik 6
Get a lawyer and weekends, they’re individuals. Your child is not your ex and they are not you. You don’t have to be with her to be in your child’s life. Record calls and keep text. She’ll have to stop enough evidence will get you full custody. If you want your child. Being afraid of someone is more than enough reason to not leave your child with them.
IHaveThePower 18
This. If you need pro bono work, you can google 'pro bono lawyer (area name)' and probably find someone to help you out; there's usually a government-sponsored group that does that.