The Top

Oh wow! It actually got posted! I'm the OP here, and I'm 19, the reason I'm confused is because when I finished high school he and I were going to move down to Florida together so I could go to college, and I got really sick, so we stayed here. My mom was completely fine with it when we were going to move out of state but now that we're moving to the apartment complex not even a mile away. I asked her for clarification and she told me that I knew what she meant. So I asked my dad, and he told me the same thing. I think they might be screwing with me.

By storyofmylife - 10/06/2015 02:44 - Canada - Truro

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 930

You deserved it 2 790

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 047

You deserved it 30 019

By insert pussy pun, hurr durr - 29/06/2016 17:34 - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 335

You deserved it 1 160

By sproket - 11/04/2011 23:37

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 164

You deserved it 2 683

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 14:36 - United States

Today, I got my phone back after bringing it in to get a crack in the screen repaired. The crack is fixed, but now the touch screen doesn't work and it won't connect to the Internet. I essentially paid to have my phone broken even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 390

You deserved it 1 865

By fianceeless - 21/01/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 653

You deserved it 3 941

Nice spread

By Anonymous - 19/02/2016 20:36 - United States - Denver

Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 066

You deserved it 1 630

Forever alone

By mstar - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 082

You deserved it 2 909

By anonymous - 22/01/2016 01:55 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, I met up with my dad for the first time in 7 years. We planned to go to a nice restaurant but he changed the place we were going to, to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm 18 years old. I waited an hour for him to show up. I then ended up babysitting his daughter the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 1 620

Mind the gap

By NotDrunk - 11/09/2012 06:47 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 776

You deserved it 2 607

By babyfatt - 16/12/2009 08:23 - Australia

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 631

You deserved it 27 238

By Anonymous - 10/02/2019 02:00

Today, a guest at my restaurant asked me what a tip was. I had to awkwardly explain to him that servers don't make hourly wages, and we rely on tips from customers to make money. After I finished, he laughed at me, called me a sucker, and stiffed me on a $120 tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 805

You deserved it 324

By 2ndchoice - 12/12/2009 15:47 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 067

You deserved it 2 958

One a day, so they say

By jazzie7719 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 414

You deserved it 4 438

By jzidar24 - 22/10/2015 02:37 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, at school, I got in trouble for plagiarizing on a paper. The subject of said paper was where I see myself in ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 863

You deserved it 2 438

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 507

You deserved it 7 723

You, yes you!

By Noname - 08/03/2009 23:40 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 027

You deserved it 14 259

By anonymous - 14/06/2016 16:47 - United States - Inverness

Today, after months of helping my mother with bills because she claimed she had no money, I found out she makes way more than what I do. She just wanted my money for alcohol and drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 1 220

By Anonymous - 22/03/2015 18:19 - United Kingdom - London

Today, we got CCTV fitted in our store. My lovely boss told me he'll be spending his free time watching the footage on his phone to know what I get up to when he's not in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 2 914

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was about to go out and get some groceries, but the moment I slammed the door I realized my keys were still inside. My inner caveman instincts told me to immediately break down the door, so now I have to get a doorknob replacement instead of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 372

You deserved it 2 348

Today, my wallet got stolen. I had a bunch of cash, my SS card and my license in it. Now I have to replace everything, only to have to renew my license again when I turn 21 in June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 009

You deserved it 2 968

Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 532

Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 99

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 223

Today, I was shopping when I got charged at by a really big dog, causing me to panic and fall. The store won’t do anything because the cunt of an owner lied and said it’s her “service dog.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 106