Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
jfj126 13
Just be glad you didn't shart.
lightningclicks 24
farts are the poop screaming to get out
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Comments (49)
ananicosia 28
The accidental slip is he worst but it's not always caused by food
lightningclicks 24
farts are the poop screaming to get out
WolfAvenge 22
I'm not being sarcastic when I say you must be fun at parties. This comment had me laughing out loud XD
jfj126 13
Just be glad you didn't shart.
revolvearoundme 15
You have a special anti farting diet? I want to know more? Also FYI they have pills for this.
MortenM 17
If you can't hold it in your hands, don't try to hold it at all
razoray9 22
This is by far the best advice I've ever heard
MortenM 17
You're welcome
Nieios 5
well at least they didn't blame you, right? could've been worse
jansdrs 19
Hit the deck!
amazed_71 14
You said you went out of your way to avoid certain foods so this wouldn't be a problem. does this happen a lot? if so, you may want to visit a dr, a gastroenterologist, to see if there is an underlying cause. it can also be a side effect of some medications. There could be quite a few different reasons, including your diet. This is just my opinion though. I don't know the whole story.
andrmac 25
Actually farting is a sign of good bacteria in you guts typically.
Ramb0 20
As long as you did it silently, you're all good.
hardcorepunk87 18
You can fart as loud as you want at concerts. Why else do you think the tickets are so expensive?
alexis2017 5
Well what possessed you to fart in public anyways? All you needed to do was simply leave or better yet hold it in.
staminprime 12
have you ever been to a concert?
gamermonster 34
I understand the sarcasm, but the end of the sentence pretty much ruined it ;)