Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a fingerstick in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year-old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to, "Watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The kid fainted. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
umerin 32
I guess an apple a day really does keep the doctor away.
ElricMustang 23
I'm just surprised she kept an apple in her pocket, expecting to have to throw it at you lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
umerin 32
I guess an apple a day really does keep the doctor away.
thecalvin123 21
Ah damn, you beat me to it
JH159753 21
#1 you beat me to the punch. Take my like good sir.
Saikon1357 25
Ya know, if people threw an apple at me everyday. I'd stay the hell away from them, too.
ExorcistParrot 11
It's very cute that she did this, but I am so sorry for you.
woahwhatchild 9
Oh man you fast haha
romeonsingcross 15
Not necessarily, I'm sure that she still got the shot.
xSLEEPYxHEADx 22
How does an apple even fit into someone's pocket?? o.O
wanted_2_want 40
Literally, #1!!!
ashtic 20
Beat us All to it :/
tishtashbat 16
An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough!
jazzie7719 10
Yeah she did
Rallred32 20
37, how is throwing an apple at someone cute? It's disrespectful, and I don't care if people don't like doctors or shots but treat them with some respect. If that was my kid her buttcheeks would be feeling a wee bit sore right now.
therealtixe 8
HAHA that's what I'm ******* wondering LOL!!
GingaNinja01 15
How is that cute?
drbakhonlock 18
Damn I was too late to make that comment. Lmao
tiptoppc 21
Especially if you throw it hard enough
jazzybelle98 4
I like the way she was thinking...throw an apple to keep the doctor away
wastingtimeisfun 12
You didn't even deliver it well
sayyestothedress 24
#24 I was thinking the same thing, but you beat me to it!
ElricMustang 23
I'm just surprised she kept an apple in her pocket, expecting to have to throw it at you lol
whensatanstrikes 12
she probably was supposed eat it.
HackNSlashHD 10
That or she knew to keep it handy knowing she was going to the doctor soon
inode 4
should have caught the apple and taken a bite out of it.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
"And gere the director said let's make her eat an apple in this scene. It'll make her look even more like an asshole!" God I need to stop watching cinemasins!
lifein2014 13
who puts a apple in there pocket in the first place...
GirlGamer12345 22
Ones who want to keep the doctor away..
kittyfrozen 19
that girl. & an* their*
Maxgolub 13
Right? Who would even think of putting it THEIR?
romeonsingcross 15
Their
the_zero_article 15
*theyre're
orbit 22
Theyre're're
brivielle 15
#60 Dude like seriously??? Your comment shouldn't even exist
nchic01 17
violence seemed to be the answer
Rallred32 20
You know what they always say... Violence is a question and the answer is always yes.
Klima_fml 29
Sorry OP, could've been scared of needles :)
sexy28 4
how did she fit an apple in her pocket. ?
alanharvey15 13
well then thank god I am not an emt if they say an apple a day keeps the doctor away
AcieMcG 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hah, doing this. I hate needles.
laden_swallow09 35
You're as immature as the little girl.
Moochi456 20
Throwing an apple is better than kicking, screaming, punching and biting. All of which I did when I was younger.
Knightchaser27 25
Not if she has good aim