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OP here. I know that screenshots aren't very good evidence, but it was basically all I had (since the website had been updated since). I'm on a quarter system so there's not enough time to go with a lot of your ideas, though I appreciate you guys trying. Oh, and I did go to my parents. Not for help, since I did everything possible before I called them about it, but they didn't believe me either. （´・ω・｀） Shit just sucks sometimes.

By Itchy Missy - 10/09/2014 03:38 - United States - Denver

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 5 676

By i have failed so very badly - 08/04/2017 00:51 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I found out our eight-year-old son lied about his former babysitter beating him. The babysitter's already thrashed us on social media for believing our son, and now no one in town is willing to babysit for us. Looks like date night is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 864

You deserved it 7 123

By car trouble - 14/10/2016 08:12 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 198

You deserved it 781

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 332

You deserved it 2 162

Don't bother me

By anon - 11/07/2015 12:51 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 770

You deserved it 3 275

Bubbly

By nomegusta - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 563

You deserved it 28 641

By somuchhatesolittleworld - 10/05/2016 02:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I started my first training day using an MRI machine and completely forgot to remove my nipple piercings before I went in. I've never experienced a pain so vile and lingering in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 233

You deserved it 10 265

One of those people

By Vercsi - 19/02/2015 15:47 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 2 772

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 17:13 - United States - Antioch

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 2 348

By Black - 12/12/2008 03:31 - Lebanon

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 341

You deserved it 3 855

What do you mean, lady?

By ihateoldmagazines - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office for an appointment. After waiting for ages, I asked the receptionist what the delay was. Apparently, I had no standing appointment today. This is coming from the same receptionist who checked me in nearly two hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 907

You deserved it 2 948

By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 2 498

The giggle loop

By Smiley - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, as always, I tend to smile and giggle when I'm nervous. I couldn't stop it from happening at my friend's grandmother's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 550

You deserved it 3 787

By NewMom1115 - 17/12/2015 22:53 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 124

You deserved it 7 873

NewMom1115 tells us more.

NewMom1115 5

Friday 18 December 2015 15:58

OP here - wow, it's weird and awesome this made it on the site! Here is some follow-up info: my doctor suggested I take the pics to see if the hemorrhoids were getting worse. I'm a new mom, so I guess sleep deprivation explains why I forgot about the Dropbox account. :)