Home Improvement

Ouch

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

The indignity

Today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually shattered beneath my feet. FML

Today, the water company found that a water main has been leaking steadily possibly for decades and has turned the land my house is built on into an underground bog. Cracks have been appearing in my walls for a while, apparently because my house is slowly sinking into it. FML