Major escalation

Today, I complained about a wasp nest in the yard. My boyfriend said he'd take care of it once the sun went down. That evening, I looked outside to see him pour gasoline on the nest and set it on fire. FML

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

Risky

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

Fixed

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

Leave spiders alone

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

Showered

Today, it took me more than four hours to set up the back yard for my daughter's baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

Stop! Hammertime!

Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML