Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Naomimi_fml 6
Six year old badass.
MrSassypants 34
Then someone breaks into the house with a gun and she takes 'em out with her bare hands. Stone cold killer that little one is.
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Comments (127)
Naomimi_fml 6
Six year old badass.
imsosleepy 9
nah op is just a wuss
onlychildFTW 34
Nah, both!
MistressCaitlyn 7
My 6-year-old is like that too. I'm terrified of spiders, so when I see one, I call her to take care of it. She calls me a wimp all the time... I'm okay with it, as long as she's still killing the little bastards.
mizuki123 8
I saw a huge spider in my room. I tried to save it but I was terrified of it jumping at my face so I had my mom kill it. :/
ICastillo 25
It's ok Op we all can't be badasses like that little girl. She is probably Chuck Norris's daughter.
XxDevilxXGt 26
"Watch out, it's a badass! " -Siren
Bekll 31
I rather put a spider outside than kill it.
Pelvispresley 8
61- Then come to the south and put our 2 inch spiders in your palm and set them out free!
Prolux_fml 23
That comment is quite witty, but I don't think many people on FML know about Borderlands...
kickass1stbase 7
When your with kids you can't show them you are afraid!
KSG472 3
That's true.
sens3sfailing 25
69-you know about borderlands, and are on FML. Tell me more about how borderlands is unpopular in the FML community.
Dixbfloppin 11
69 - "Cool story, bro." -Axton
Cartera 10
Borderlands 2 has the best dialogue.
swenny_xoxo 18
I don't get why people got that buried. I would do the same thing
MrSassypants 34
Then someone breaks into the house with a gun and she takes 'em out with her bare hands. Stone cold killer that little one is.
Inheritance 10
Reminds me of this video I watched about this kid who killed a burglar with his dads gun.
eggmarie 25
And the award for coolest story ever goes to...inheritance for his story about "a video he watched"! Congratulations, please accept this thumbs down as a token of our thanks.
shadowsorel 15
If she can do that with her bare hands, imagine a butter knife. Oh, and 54 - Reminds me of when I killed my first spider when I was six. It was missing two legs.
Inheritance 10
Yes 76 and you're even funnier?
sheerem 7
Wow. Man up a little bit. The spider most likely will not kill you.
_krystallynn_ 11
most likely. not exactly reassuring lol
Welshite 40
You don't know that for certain. There are so many different poisonous creepy-crawlies out there, it's hard to be merciful on the harmless ones.
saksxalmo 20
Most spiders are not poisonous, and the ones who are probably won't kill you. Even with the poisonous ones, there are such things as hospitals. And wouldn't you rather kill or release the spider and get it over with than have it alive and wandering around the house? People need to stop using poisonous spiders as an excuse to be afraid. -_-
Airman1988 9
Considering op is female I doubt they have much desire to "man up"
Welshite 40
#38: Unless it's a common jumping spider or a trap-door spider (which I love playing with), any spider I see is a dead spider. I've come into contact with brown recluses and black widows. I've had my hand and fingers less than two inches from a black widow without knowing it, and it was only AFTER I had killed it that I saw the red hourglass.
illmatic2 16
38, it's called a phobia. You can throw all the facts around that you want, but I'm still going to avoid those things every way that I can and not give a **** what anyone says.
fromthesuck 8
There are actually only two poisonous spiders in the us(native), black widow and brown recluse. Correction for those who have nothing better to do than poke holes in other's comments: all spiders are poisonous. But those are the two truly harmful to humans.
sux4u121 10
But 67, OP is in Germany.
Quinn32 16
67-I am pretty sure most people are not afraid due to the number of poisonous species but rather they are afraid because of the number of those spiders (which is greater than two). Also, the fact that most of us cannot instantly identify the kind of spider does not help.
THExistentialist 13
brown widows too. twice as poisonous as the black ones, but not as aggressive. STILL... NOPENOPENOPE!
Tidus0 17
Try live in Australia we have the worlds most deadliest everything. Spiders - Sydney Funnel Web, Mouse eating spider, normal funnel web, red back, and more. Snakes - taipan, king brown, red belly black, one that lives in the ocean, brown snake Sea creatures - box jellyfish, blue ring octopus, stonefish.
saksxalmo 20
Okay, first of all, I never said not to kill the spider. Obviously it's better to let it live if you can, but it's not a big deal if you can't. If it's a phobia, it's a phobia. Fine. But don't try to use "oh, it's not an irrational fear because spiders are poisonous" as an excuse. I thought that was obvious from my last sentences. Seriously, it's like you guys don't even read what's written before you respond. :/
saksxalmo 20
#67, seeing as we're being pedantic now, technically there are two families of spiders that lack venom glands. But seriously, many spiders can't even penetrate human skin. Poisonous in the sense of "capable of killing or inflicting injury"? I think not.
iHeartRKO 5
I'd like to put my two cents in, as my cousin works at a pick n save (grocery store), he works the produce section and with the loads of fruit he comes across plenty of black widows. He catches them and destroys them properly so when you buy your fruit your life shall go on another day.
docscientist 10
48- it doesn't really excuse people from smashing them on sight.
kendallhi 9
She is going somewhere
sheethapins 13
-Looks at picture then reads FML then comment- ......
TwentyFourXXIV 13
Profile pic says it all...
gc327072 31
Is she supposed to be going to your van, 5?
jmcr 27
Haha pwned by a little girl xD
ViQValentine 3
Don't you just love children? :D
fuzz97 23
Why don't you have a seat over there
Whaaaaaat734 6
Pedobear-YES.
astoryofroses 9
well she's right
CallMeMcFeelii 14
She was just showing you that she's the boss. Watch her closely and you just might learn a thing or two.
_krystallynn_ 11
its okay:) im deathly afraid of spiders too lol
jonjak 7
Yup same here, as a matter of fact just killed one right now.
ViQValentine 3
Well, you know what they say.. "There's nothing to fear but fear itself... and spiders..".. Haha, at least that's not what I say, I love spiders(:
HSOMGF 5
LOL! Wuss.