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FMyLife
Shortround Wheaton, United States

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

229

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

greenie213 23

Cheer up! Now you can get an iPhone 5!

exzaclee 3

Phone = iPhone iPod = iPhone Girlfriend = iPhone?

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Comments (229)

88vivera 9

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Well if u know the guy ask for them back

Bpwoods 6

Most of the time if someone is a big enough asshole to steal your shit, they aren't going to give it back...

dansythomas 6

Knowing he stole all of that shit, I think he could kick his ass..

daner10 5

Yup, thats defiantly going to work.

DocBastard 40

"Oh gosh, we're these yours? Oh my, I'm so sorry! Here, have them back. Please forgive me!" Is that what you'd expect?

KiddNYC1O 22

Also, I wouldn't want a girlfriend that was willing to be "stolen" back.

xxDefiantxx 0

If he knows the guy he should go to the police about the phone and ipod

CatchMe25 16

Doc fell victim to the all annoying autocorrect. Nice to know that under your witty banter and eloquent sarcasm you ARE human after all :D

ProfessionalTrol_fml 14

I think he also got one more thing stolen. His pride

v1kt4r 13

THIS!!! If someone can take your stuff, you know who they are AND you do nothing about it.. YOU DESERVED IT..

Meettitan 14

Grow some balls. 9/10 you just have to say something crazy. "If you don't give me my shit back I'm going to slit your throat and pull your tongue through it." Then he'll either hand you your shit or throw a punch.

botanistjessica 24

I wouldn't ever want to piss off 94.

Autoshot 9

Just show up at his place with your two buddies Smith & Wesson and politely ask for them back. But let him keep the girl he didn't steal that one and she's not worth it.

UltimateGIRness 16

4-actually my friend's house got robbed and they took her laptop and iPod,but three days later she came home to the stuff on her couch with a note sayin sorry

Reeserr 3

An autocorrect feature isn't a human.

dcg1375 7

No. But DOC is. And that's what 58 was talking about. Try to keep up.{pats 163 on head}

Big_lama6 7

"May I have my girlfriend back please?" see how well that'd work out...

mitchn60 6

Defiantly or definitely?

SenselessPattern 12

#146 Maybe they loved the house so much they decided to break in again and just used the things they stole the first time as an excuse?

IQWasJustLowered 0

146 - maybe the robber was tricked by the janitor into thinking he was helping him move.(scrubs reference anyone?)

greenie213 23

Cheer up! Now you can get an iPhone 5!

NabbdjuretPerry 0

Its money, MONEY!!

sarapsosis 1

All by the same guy?!? Get ur gadgets back and forget that tool of a gf

Jaxx66 21

I refuse to get an iPhone 5. I still have a 4. Yeah A6 chip, yeah yeah. The only thing I want is Siri. But with their throttle and new map system driving people into rivers; I'll wait.

koooonal 3

Kill both of them

ThisIsMe_18 13

the iPhone 4S has Siri.

outstandtacular 11

59 - there's a difference between the iPhone 4 and 4S.

gmc_blossom 21

50- Same here. I have an iPhone 4 as well. I really want Siri, too. But when you think about it, that's all we're really lacking with the iPhone 4. At least we won't be directed into any rivers any time soon.

jamalamadingdong 18

If you're stupid enough to drive into a river because your phone tells you to, you shouldn't be driving anyway!

Goldenchest 14

I'd be scared to use an iPhone to get directions.. That's why I have my trusty GPS :)

Jaxx66 21

I didn't mean LITERALLY driving into a river. I meant that the destinations are in big bodies of water, instead of where they really belong.

SqueakyChipmunk 22

I tried to find directions to a job interview with Apple maps and ended up in Africa.

kellygirl83 11

I have an iPhone 4S and with the new system upgrade the only thing different between my phone and the iPhone 5 is one friggin row of icons. Do I really need to spend hundreds for a row of icons. No thanks.

diego2k5 6

or you could get the iPhone 6 aka Galaxy S3 :)

DrDilllonReese 12

132- just gtfo.

Autoshot 9

Between the lines you are all screaming jealousy over the new iPhone. lol

LouisianaBob 9

Sounds like 59 was saying 50 could buy a 4s if she wanted siri since she said she refuses to buy the 5.

Soloman212 28

The turn-by-turn directions weren't clear enough, and I ended up with my dick stuck in a tree.

therealafroninga 10

Nah guys, I heard the IPhone six was the coolest, you get all the thinks the 4s & 5 offer, and it has a built in pancreatic cancer screener.

Reeserr 3

64- 59 was just telling them that they just have to upgrade to a 4S. I'm pretty sure they would realize their phone had Siri.

FML_Master2133 6

Yea!!! A phone and iPod all in one!!

Meettitan 14

As a developer, I do not like the Iphone platform. It is harder and more expensive to develop on. On top of that the Iphone is built with ALL proprietary software, whereas Android and other platforms are open source and more economic to develop on. I am aware of the amount of Apple fanboys there are on this site, and I'm prepared to get thumbed down, and burried. Just thought I would share my perspective whilst also thread jacking.

fmlallthetyme 23

Too soon 161.... Oh wait, that will never be funny. Go die in a fiery hell.

mjacv2 5

Lmao I like your humor baboon

sens3sfailing 25

145- Kill yourself. You are another fanboy buying a brand name. iPhone 5 is an answer to the S3 because apple can't compare and they feel if they make it bigger and put the next number on it, it's better...it disgusts me the way people seem to obsess over having the latest technology and can never be happy with what they have. I will never buy an iPhone.

AphyTheBronette 15

Well, that's your decision. I'm glad I'm not you. I own a happy iPhone 4S, it loves to wear My melody cases :3

TrollRoaster 0

185- well that was alittle harsh õ_o

Dashelle 25

Bah, droid > apple :P

kotana191 8

oh no! not your phone!!!

Kn0wledge123 21

That bastard.

CheeseTron 15

Must be a pretty fulfilling day for that guy.

MichellinMan 20

I would steal three things from him: his left ********, his right ********, and his penis.

kyat288 9

He said iPod not phone... How the hell did u get thirty thumbs up for that comment? And who knows... it could have been an ipod nano or sum shitt

Almandine 7

He said phone and iPod dude.

kyat288 9

Oh wow... I didnt even see that haha

koooonal 3

Kill them both

Athleticism 11

Well maybe you should have read it?

Meettitan 14

Losing a phone is like losing a child.... that remembers the phone numbers and emails of all the people you know.......

lacespace 8

Someone needs to be a tad more watchful of their belongings my friend. Poor fellow.

CallMeMcFeelii 14

I think someone needs to go get some vengeance. And by vengeance I mean repeatedly kick that guy in the rips until money starts popping out of his ass.

lacespace 8

I kicked someone in the rips once. They were immediately rushed to a hospital to be sewed back together, I just felt awful.

PizzaRollsss 5

Sorry for my ignorance but what does it mean to kick someone in the rips? Or do you mean ribs?

CallMeMcFeelii 14

Ribs* I honestly didn't even catch that myself. Blame it on the ah ah ah autocorrect. See what I did there? Probably not. Haha.

GuessWhatKids 13

5 - Girlfriends aren't posessions!

lacespace 8

Did you just need to comment so you nit picked? Come off it chimp. They certainly are.

exzaclee 3

Phone = iPhone iPod = iPhone Girlfriend = iPhone?

Bpwoods 6

I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say here...

TheTwistedOtaku 16

I think he's trying to say he should get the new iPhone lol.

llamafish 25

Obviously OP considers Siri to be his girlfriend.

Welshite 40

I think he's trying to say that the guy who stole OP's girlfriend put the same amount of value in the phone and iPod as the girlfriend. Therefore, he stole all three.

Hershey903 5

There is an app called MyVirtualGirlfriend. Biggest waste of 1.99 ever.

PiaMiaPerez 1

Ha I was thinking the same thing

Apostle123 2

He's saying the iPhone is his phone iPod and girlfriend

jonnykaiser 6

As in the iphone covers all three criteria

illmatic2 16

Some people are slow.

taniamw 9

I think he's trying to say that only OP's phone was stolen but the phone was also his iPod and his girlfriend (could be talking about Siri)

BeccaHugs 17

Don't forget about your dignity, it seems like he took that too.

yourlifesucksHA 14

Good one!

EverestMelting 23

Hollywood undead rocks bro.

ninjaqueen101 18

He's a master. But maybe you should be more careful and watch your pockets closer.

answeryourphone 3

I don't think the girlfriend would be in his pocket

BossPathfinderGM 14

Depending on their relationship, her hand might be. ;-)

SenselessPattern 12

I think there's an app for that, called Pocket Girlfriend. Not that I would know, of course... ;)

SenselessPattern 12

And someone made the joke before me. Curse you Hershey903.

Jumpingmal2 7

And watch his girlfriend closer

the_enigma1019 1

Well, now is the perfect time to plan a mission impossible style heist upon his abode to get your stuff back. Have fun.

devore504 7

call the police and tell them your ex and her new boyfriend robbed you and you get the last laugh.

ArsenalFan12 0

Kick his ass

dead247 13

Funny how when you say this you get thumbed down but if a girl's Bf gets stolen with a similar post they get thumbed up. fml.