Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML
Today, I had a shift at my job at a grocery store that was full of rude and impatient customers. Someone dropped a bottle of wine and it shattered next to me. I found a half-eaten packet of sushi behind some magazines. The scale on another register broke. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette played on the store radio at the end. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Today, I took a massive dump in a trashcan in the back of my company's catering truck. We have a professional tailgate spread for clients to enjoy at the local games. My boss got drunk and left me to work it alone for 8 hours. The closest bathroom is 1/2 mile away. I hate my job. FML
Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
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Top comments
littlem91 29
Well, that has to motivate you to go to college or do courses, or really anything that may one day get you away from vomit filled discount bins. Good luck.
SuperDerp 8
Hey you still have a paycheck.
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Comments (96)
littlem91 29
Well, that has to motivate you to go to college or do courses, or really anything that may one day get you away from vomit filled discount bins. Good luck.
herpderpherpderp 13
STRAYA.
pineapplefiend 13
You know, as I was reading this, I saw the word **** and straight away I knew he was an Aussie.
IAmJad 18
26, couldn't he have been a Brit as well?
kittytub 12
op could be very motivated, they just might not be able to afford college. or this is their high school job.
KSG472 3
Straight up
habibiiiiiii 2
28 and 58 a lot of people use that word
pineapplefiend 13
Maybe so, but noone uses it as loosely as us good old aussies.
RadikulRam 16
Go to college and do a course. Statistically speaking OP would be in the exact same situation regardless, sorry but an education does not guarantee a job.
Psych101 9
It can only go up from here... Hopefully.
kendallhi 9
Everything that goes up, must come down
Psych101 9
14- Or in the drunk guy's case, whatever goes down must come up.
SuperDerp 8
Hey you still have a paycheck.
hatesfate 6
Exactly. Many people can not get work no matter how meaningless and bad the job may be...
BeforeItWasCool 12
That's true enough! That drunk is highly unlikely to be earning for many years to come. I'd say OP is pretty lucky in one sense, actually having a job.
LemonandLime 13
So the op had to clean up one bit of sick so his life is ******? I work in an emergency hospital department. What does that make my life?
BeforeItWasCool 12
74- That makes you a very patient person. I couldn't do your job, I can barely stand the emergency department even as a patient I can't imagine doing it daily. Kudos to you!
jesse91 12
unless the guy vomited on that too.
Welshite 40
It's still a job. In this economy, any employment is something.
redbluegreen 41
OP lives in Australia.
littlem91 29
Australia probably has economy problems too, it's supposed to be a global crisis.
Welshite 40
#11: So everyone outside of the United States is rich and care-free? Sorry my friend, but the terrible economy is not strictly limited to the U.S. People all over the world are getting any job they can nowadays.
Shrike 24
Welshite, Australia's unemployment rate is damn low compared to a lot of the world. You might want to research stuff before giving opinions on it.
cuttlefished 7
Actually Australia was one of the only developed countries to not go into recession during the global financial crisis, the economy remained strong. Plus Australia actually has a minimum wage (about $16 an hour, increasing with age and training) so even a minimum wage job in Australia is better than one in many other countries.
mduffy08 8
True, but most people who are paid by minimum wage are young people. Now let's look into detail; looks like the unemployment for young people in Australia is over 15% : /. Minimum wage unfortunately hurts inexperienced workers. Most people do not want to have to train someone at 15-16$ an hour if they are not worth it. And even if you are hired, a young worker may not even be guaranteed that many hours.
JiHadJoe910 2
Yea the minimum wage might be 16 per hour but look at the cost of living....
KiddNYC1O 22
Minimum wage in Bermuda is $20!
KiddNYC1O 22
47 has a point, though. Everything is usually expensive in places like that.
Autoshot 9
A word of advice gentlemen: Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
SenselessPattern 12
#57 Your profile picture makes me want to give you an exorcism.
Kiki242 19
Blame it on the alcohol.
toughchick14 15
One day you will be successful and it will be because of how you work hard everyday.....maybe
kendallhi 9
WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU, MAKES YOU STRONGER!!!
toughchick14 15
That is totally true!!!!!!!
kendallhi 9
Haha I love that song!
zgomon 10
Except aids.
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Aids can kill you.
tylerwc111 13
Aids doesn't always kill the person. It's the diseases caught that kill the person (after aids has destroyed the immune system).
Meenah_fml 4
whoa there guppy slow down
SkyBirdy 5
Throw-upy situation
melibear89 7
Fail
SkyBirdy 5
Yes it was :(
greenie213 23
Just remember. There's always a worse job out there! (Road kill scraper)
RacistPancake 6
I liked your comment just because you like RvB and Roosterteeth.
pbonham 22
Don't ever use the c word again, it is such a disgusting word!!!!
Shrike 24
Aww, is baby gonna cry?
redbluegreen 41
theoatmeal.com/comics/c_word
CoffeeChickBlows 13
I hate puritanical *****.
illmatic2 16
You're on the wrooooong website, girl.
greenie213 23
Your face is a disgusting word. Hah! That'll get em.
annie_nk 23
Welcome to the internet.
rebel_belle1974 5
really? Is that the best you can do?
SenselessPattern 12
"You're a ****. You're a **** now, and you've always been a ****. The only thing that's going to change is you're going to become an even bigger ****. Maybe have some more **** kids too." I watch too much youtube, as that is what I thought of after reading this thread.
XtraEzeee 8
What c word? Crappy? Yea when that **** used the c word it got me pretty steamed too.
ebonyirony 29
I'm getting **** tattooed on my inner lip
AMCJEEP 10
CUNTCUNT
MormonPornstar 7
I agree. But, you know - **** it