Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Naomimi_fml 6
Six year old badass.
MrSassypants 34
Then someone breaks into the house with a gun and she takes 'em out with her bare hands. Stone cold killer that little one is.
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Comments (127)
savfd645 7
You got told by a six year old!! Hey that rhymes :)
Trisha_aus 15
Hello. Bacon.
Beer_Wisperer 6
Don't kill spiders. Make a deal with them instead. Don't mess with them and they won't mess with you. They are not like Mosquitos. Kill those bastards all day long. They don't make deals.
rebel_belle1974 5
you got served by a 6 year old
reba_ratliff 0
Someone just set off the badass alarm xD Don't worry it's not like it was a pet tarantula like mine ;D
Posthuman 26
Spider: "Oh hey! I was just hanging around! Um what are you doing with that shoe?"
YoursTru1yXo 0
Like a boss....at the age of 6..
seanxavier 3
Lol
blooperlala 1
Haha wow she's got guts this little one ;)
hapy_pig098 13
Haha kids ^_^
samsaf1989 5
30- are you ok ?