Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Naomimi_fml 6
Six year old badass.
MrSassypants 34
Then someone breaks into the house with a gun and she takes 'em out with her bare hands. Stone cold killer that little one is.
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Comments (127)
devious418 3
Mmmm who's the baby?
hateevryone 15
So who is babysitting who again?
Psych101 9
18- Not trying to be too picky, but I think you mean *spiders'. Unless, of course, you meant that particular spider was going to come back for revenge and take over the world... In that case I apologize for the pointless correction.
lugiratina 3
Uh oh looks like we got a badass over here
matt98_fml 13
She would be a really good future contestant on Fear Factor.
Geometric 18
In Soviet Russia, spider squashes you
Fl9C1 4
That 6 year old showed you who the boss is.
kyat288 9
Saw that one im moderation... It's supposed to say pussy
mizuki123 8
Am I the only one that read it as hug instead of huge? Nope? Just me.. I'll go back under my rock now.
Posthuman 26
I feel you OP. I'm absolutely terrified of just about anything with more than 4 legs. And anything that flies and stings.
NigerianMedicine 11
Same here. I'm fine with bugs as long as said bug is small. I once woke up to a centipede the size of a sausage sitting inches from my face. I'm fairly certain they heard my scream across the Atlantic.
Posthuman 26
I was fine until in was about 6 or 7. I'd never seen a swarm of wasps until I was IN one...