ihatespiders
London, United Kingdom
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
kenneth
Wuss
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Anonymous
Hagen, Germany
You big fanny
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
belly the jelly
A job well done.
Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML
emelie000
Irrational fears
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Disproportionate responses are the new black
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
mala_19
Burea, Sweden
Wonky fear
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
SpiderFather
France
Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Freaked out
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
JustLeaveThem
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
She's right, you know
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
Top comments
Lavelle1313 11
No shame necessary. Sacrifice the children.
brettrb 18
Spiders are terrifying. I see nothing wrong with this.
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Comments (105)
whatcase 16
Poor spidy, just tell her carry it outside :(
infected150 27
Forget that kill all the scary little bastards.
kibster9 20
If it came onto his property, it has the right to die.
princesspeachxox 18
Show no mercy, it's a sign of weakness, they can smell it and will attack
Doberman101 29
I would've asked her to burn the whole house down to be completely honest with you.
Mystery_Unsolved 16
Yeah, let it go so it can breed and then you can have multiple spider sightings. Good idea.
mz135 12
Don't blame you
Doberman101 29
The fact that I got down voted so much. What did I say wrong? It was my first real comment. I feel bad. No shame OP. Spiders deserve to burn in the depths of hell in which they came.
The_Burrito_Guy 6
But spiders have feelings too. I think it's right to let them go. Now... Where's my flamethrower.
Rainhawk94 27
#84 do you really care what we think about your comment?
kost4060 14
#84 I guess some people really don't remember that this is the internet
Doberman101 29
Not really lmao. I just felt like commenting on the post and was confused as to why I got down voted. I'm totally fine. I'm not gonna cry about it. #93 #94 #91 Btw. You just went against your first statement. Your comment makes zero sense....
Lavelle1313 11
No shame necessary. Sacrifice the children.
pressingreset 13
You can always make more....
martin8337 36
Why not. We live in an overpopulated and underfed world:-).
Epickitty58 29
This guy gets it.
JJ_86 22
Let's start with you #59
brettrb 18
Spiders are terrifying. I see nothing wrong with this.
Nosrebor 8
the other day a brown recluse the size of my hand crawled onto my foot. I nearly died.
Thorteris 17
You must have some small hands
lishabear 21
Yes, the brown recluse is roughly the size of a quarter. You most likely saw a Huntsman's spider. :)
Doberman101 29
Which is exactly why I said I would've told her to burn down the house. But noo I got down voted. Guess I'm the bad guy. Seems like people get down voted for no reason these days.
Nosrebor 8
I have very small hands! look at them!
Samiemud 2
Seriously? I mean come on. It's a COMMENT. Other ppl told u to chill out Also. Get used to it
ruckfules85 34
No regrets
TheCrispyCat 20
Spiders don't bother me but damn those beatles scare the shit out of me.
wotfukm8 18
They were an amazing band I don't see what's so frightening about them. Is it Ringo's nose? Possibly his singing? Actually you're right, very horrifying.
cakefete2 31
Yes, Alan, but that's only because the beetles have no hands with which to hold a pen.
cjwayy 22
My grandma's garden is infested with Japanese beetles. They get inside sometimes and they're nasty.
DeltaDragonxx 20
looks like this is a job for pyroman!
pratikp03 22
spiderman..spiderman....oops spiderwoman
jerryj 27
Just "spider" will do.
MRP360 14
No spiderpig will do
baseballbv 17
You're doing what's best and needs to be done. I salute you.
J215B 33
Did you at least arm her with fire?
RpiesSPIES 27
He probably set her on fire and threw her at the spider.
HylianTwilight 21
Or he literally armed her with fire...using her arm..with a fire. :I
magikarpsmurfs 19
At least you're preparing your daughter for real world experiences. Now she'll be able to kill spiders on her own when she's all grown up.
girI 20
Ah, but how will HE deal with the spiders on his own when she's all grown up, hmm?