Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Typical cat.
quickit 24
Your cat sounds like ruthless.
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Comments (98)
quickit 24
Your cat sounds like ruthless.
quickit 24
The typo I may never take back. :)
sturschaedel 27
I bet the cat is just trying to be nice to stupid little OP by trying to teach her how to hunt. Yet OP has so far failed to even locate the prey. Kitty is probably mortified by now, just watching.
TheBelt 19
The cat was just chillin like a villain.
ohSNAPyall 27
Or perhaps hunting like a ****.
Markovski 18
Typical cat.
TheCookieComet 23
Dogs>other animals as pets>cats
aruden 25
The cat found it once now it's OP's turn
SystemofaBlink41 27
The middle one implies that you think owning a hippo's a good idea.
Mightytall 35
Yes, typical cat. She is trying to help op to become a good hunter. Some animal behavior scientists say it's likely that cats think we are their slightly dumber big siblings. We don't know how to hunt and so they try train us, like they would train their little ones. Did you know cats do not meow to each other? They only meow to us cause we don't understand their subtle other language!
jmigs17 19
Owning a hippos not a good idea, but it's not a worse idea than owning a cat
mmtiki 10
What's up with the cat facts?
cressybryant 15
It's probably found a hole somewhere !
nityasomaiya 46
Or maybe the cat and the mouse have plotted together against OP. The cat by raising hopes and dropping them, the mouse by... well, being a mouse, and dropping hopes further.
piemanfood 19
Cats are dicks
sorryheadphones 26
So it's a real mouse hunt then?
katie1243 16
Stuart Little strikes again
lonter20 7
Savage
JMichael 26
Hey Tom never actually eats Jerry.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
Lol that's true.
StreetlightM 9
Why was this required? Did you really think your comment improved this thread in any way? It didn't.
tantanpanda 26
Tom and Jerry plotted against op
kindasortayeah 25
Is your cat Garfield?
FedoraGuy 15
Garfield didn't catch mice. He was lazy and generally just had conversations with them.
kindasortayeah 25
Yeah, that's true. It was a bit of a stretch for a pathetic joke on my part, ahaha.
Chambers1985 13
Saving it for later !
ironmany_fml 23
by letting it go?