Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
gusgus36 5
I don't see how this is anything but a YDI. you're seeing a hooker? seriously?
Im_Like_0h_w0w 0
haha that is hilarious... but seriously... a hooker?!
savvy_suzy 0
There are some things money can't buy.
Mattlovesfml 0
but for everything else, there's a hooker (:
syntaxerror_fml 0
for everything else there's MasterCard!
kmwis_00 6
Maybe she got an STD hehehehehe :D It's for the best, OP. Haha
FFML_314 12
It's not surprising, OC.
mynewaccount 8
Wow, this is super pathetic!
allmidnighteyes 11
Did you really expect more from the majority of FML commenters? I mean, half the FMLs are from stuck-up bitches who say FML about their boyfriends saying/doing something they don't like. I can't imagine the comment section is much better.
smokey20 0
you deserve it jackass get a life
thehurts 0
Wow, there seem to be a lot of people upset about a guy that pays a hooker instead of them. It does make sense to pay the hooker. There are no hidden costs, she does her job then leaves, and you don't have to hear her mouth. As long as you are careful to stay safe, I don't see a downside.
xredxvirusx 3
good for her. obviously, you're a pathetic idiot. no girl deserves that. hooker or not.