Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
jakeisawake 3
Ah well, I guess it's time for you to start looking at a different corner. Also, may be time you get your penis checked. She may have dumped you thinking you'll find another hooker (which you will), so that she can't be traced to the reason you got multiple std's.
milf762010 0
Ydi for not only having sex with a hooker but for having sex with her for almost a year. After your trip to the free clinic you should call the cops and let them know where she picks up her clients. (Saying that where youre located its illegal...)that might make you feel a little better on the whole 'she dumped me' issue.
youngclench 0
he lives in south Africa.. everyone already has aids and clinics are few and far between, let alone free
Cookie00Munsta 0
when you become a suicide girl, you'll definitely be the most beautiful of them all :)
Jackiess22 0
You can't even pay for it! That's just sad. Maybe she's just quiting the hooking business?
jamjelly386 5
you deserve it for resorting to prostitution
TheCountess 4
If a hooker rejects you, it might be a good idea to do some serious self evaluating and try to find out exactly what repulsed her so much that the money was no longer worth the effort. Extraordinarily poor personal hygiene, perhaps? Acting like a psychopath in some capacity? Just something you should probably consider.
WhatTheFuq 0
what if the hooker decided, she doesn't wana be a hooker anymore, and cut of from all her "clients"
zodak 0
don't worry theres plenty of more hookers around
Deverz 10
ydi it for failing at life
underguarded 20
Pwn
77taylah33 0
There is No future with a hooker!
redbluegreen 41
Everyone's a prostitute, some are just more upfront about payments. Find a new one.
FFML_314 12
I thought everyone was a skull *******, tree hugging, baby killing, sloth? Dammit, Red! I am not a prostitute.