Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
dragonmystik3030 0
*Whingeing* and bitching damn phone rang and missed the edit time.. grrrrrrr
Cookie00Munsta 0
LOL!! YDI for having to buy a hooker for a year. you brought a new meaning to the word desperate. even hookers have standards
Judus_beej 0
she burned you twice. first from giving you the clap and second dumping your ass. learn to tip.
besos29 0
fyl that a hooker breaks up with you!! you pay her and she leave you.. WTF is wrong with you??
LilEinstein 0
1) that's your own fault for dating her 2) what were you thinking dating her in the first place? You dated a girl who makes a living from sex on a daily basis... her job is basically to cheat on you... not to mention, it isn't real if you have to pay for it.
TheNinjaBuffalo 0
FAIL.
Evan2297 0
Dude she was a hooker, she gets paid to have sex. Of course she dumped you.
smallsmerry 0
pathetic. grow balls, go to a bar, and *** the hot bartender in the bathroom
Mr25_fml 14
Maybe you weren't her best customer
jeannabby18 0
that's really pathetic.