Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, my husband and I were having an argument over accidentally leaving a to-go container of leftovers at a restaurant. He asked me why I didn’t remind him and I said that I forgot. He asked me, “What if you forgot to breathe one day? You’d die.” Then he kicked me out of the car and told me to walk home. FML
Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
If you're one of those people that orders a ton of food and then only eats a tiny bit, you totally deserve it. Especially if he's the one paying for the meal.
allmidnighteyes 11
Was it at KFC? I want a failure pile in a sadness bowl!
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Comments (69)
allmidnighteyes 11
Was it at KFC? I want a failure pile in a sadness bowl!
C6Racer 0
Puke?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
people are stupid, why must they take everything seriously when it's clearly a joke. **** you op!
sukaaa 0
you were eating out your brother in law?!?! and you said you cant finish he said finish or your walkin home?!?! eww that gives me the hibitybajibies.
dani22097 0
it means taking your meal to go
TahoeFMler 22
Stupid
stewpididiot 11
east shore? sand harbor ?
TahoeFMler 22
Love you! Not quite Sand Harbor, but yes, East Shore. my back from that angle was towards SH! You must be local! Yay!
stewpididiot 11
tahoe vista, kinky beach,& income village back in the 80s..... SLT thru the 90s...it's dumpin there right now
TahoeFMler 22
Nice! Was in IV from 96 until last year, then came to Seoul for a few years with the army. parents and in laws are still in IV. Jealous of that snow storm yesterday!
georggx 3
haha. eat your god damn food then. you waste.
mfdoom44 0
hi
ShadyFTW1 0
Dude, I gotta say your picture and completely random comment make you look like some sort of creepy pedophile.
TahoeFMler 22
He's 22 and she's 15. He's trying to be slick and meeeellllllow! Ssssh, let's watch and see what happens!
game94 0
haha are you serious? you try to talk with girls on here?
Pb25797051 0
49 os obviously a fat loser jealous of the fake girls here
Alleged_Cranium 7
Never heard of doggie bags?
hashmita 0
Haha, win.
FYLDeep 26
YDI for overestimating your portion size.
redbluegreen 41
If you're one of those people that orders a ton of food and then only eats a tiny bit, you totally deserve it. Especially if he's the one paying for the meal.
marmlr339 14
agreed.
TahoeFMler 22
Agreed seconded!
Chandy_fml 2
Restaurants need to actually make portions meal-sized instead of 2 or 3 meal-sized, then. If you only order one plate of food and they give you enough that you could live off of it for 2 or 3 days, it's not your fault but theirs. As long as you save the food to eat over the next few days, at least. It's what I have to do at most restaurants because they give you an insane amount of food. I'm not fat enough that I can eat more than 600 calories or so in a single sitting, and that's the upper limit. 400 is usually enough for a single meal.
redbluegreen 41
I was thinking more along the lines of the people that order a starter, soup or salad, and drink lots of soda before they actually get their meal. I've had friends who will fill up before their entrée gets to the table, and when it does, they eat maybe four bites before they say they're full. I agree that the proportions and calories you get at restaurants are too much, but to completely waste what someone else is paying for can be quite an insult.
catlady4eva 9
I agree. I also hate the ones that are super skinny, say that they're so hungry they could eat a horse, has two bites of their meal and say they're full and then complain that they're "fat."
missL1z 5
Don't waste food!
miraggg 1
think of the kids in africa!
Rangant 7
mustve been an expensive meal
iheartglasses 0
Thats why God invented To-Go boxes, so we wouldn't fall prey to Gluteny. This comment is a joke anyway hehe But really, all restaurants have boxes... Right?
allmidnighteyes 11
i c wut u did thur Θ__Θ
BloodyHeel 8
I sea wut yu dun their.
Draminicaus 0
I didn't see what you did there. Explain it to the slow kid in the back.
bethan1 4
Icee wot ewe did they're
skorpien 1
26, my best guess at "what's been done" is the reference to God and one of the Seven Deadly Sins. At least I think it was a reference to Gluttony. Gluteny is something only a person with celiac disease would have to worry about.
docscientist 10
I think he just misspelt it.