Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
BloodyHeel 8
Shame on you.
Lisimal 7
Shame on him.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
*high fives op* quagmire would love this!
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
_Damien_ 0
lol 62!
seanders 10
lol that's awesome.
missvee98324 0
Wow. You are stupid. By saying, "I just got dumped by a hooker", you're showing that she's... I don't know the word for it- but yiu chose to go out with her anyway. I can't really explain what I mean here, but you are so dumb. You are really dumb. Fo' Real.
ygdrassil 17
You just got dumped by a hooker. By text.
jewban 3
did you pay for the sex during the relationship?
toddin 7
lol so bad in bed you couldn't PAY them to sleep with you!
JAFA 2
Retard. Yep, pretty sure that was the word I was looking for.
tannerhyde 0
just thought you should know that you are FINE =)
AceArctic 4
It's sad when a hooker is too good for you... And that you're seeing one in the first place.
rednick95 0
lol
dannyfiona 0
Hey hookers are people too. Some make more money than my parents
OGReaper 2
Lmao. Burn.
miraggg 1
ew hookers
purple_zebras_ 0
eww dude that's freaking gross get your self tested for STDS
dingggdonggg 0
well, if you need to be seeing a hooker to get action, you might want to take a hint.
ScarletAshes 0
he is burning somewhere lol
brackaman 18
Call me crazy, but I think it's sadder that you were seeing a hooker for a year. I honestly think this is probably the best thing for you.
Mickay1232 0
haha would u like a side of epic with that fail?XD
SebIsBest 0
lol
_krispy 0
nah thanks im good for now
skimonkey96 0
maybe after my appetizer of YDI
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
taytay6510 6
next to your description.
jmack8796 0
^Win^
UrTheWorstCharac 0
5 - Agreed. 10 - Agreed!
rallets 23
#48 - disagreed
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
63 you look like a douche. :)
ShadyFTW1 0
112 you look like fruit-striped gum.
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
114 you look like you have a funny picture
123zc1 3
C-C-C-OMBO BREAKER
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
damn you!
xLil_Mx 0
Haha this made me lol :)
thadark 0
you look like a barbie :p
FantasticFin 0
hey:)
MissLizWolf 8
find a girlfriend...
77taylah33 0
he probably got a hooker cause he couldn't get a girlfriend
holyfuckbuckets 0
thank you captain obvious
youngclench 0
^ relax, sergent sarcasm
cufaoil 11
thank you for your input, Private Parts
cradle6 13
Maybe just needs to meet Colonel Angus
gambit222 0
after you talk to sgtStickyFinger
MissLizWolf 8
haha!
sfdrf 0
i think the hooker was the girlfriend
boyslikegirls97 0
Did you think dating a hooker would end well?
DudeImBetter 0
thats pretty pathetic.
dzj 0
it sure is
aldog24 0
lol not as pathetic as posting ab pics as profile pics :p
yake12 0
^ this
ryliz 0
indeed
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
wow, maybe u should tip better
ejoyy 0
lol why would you mess with a hooker in the first place ? o_O
kaprookie 3
9- i agree completely seeing a hooker is just discusting i hope you get herpies or chlyamdia you rat.
allmidnighteyes 11
I hope you get Hooked on Phonics.
ColetteL 4
I agree with 35.
FFML_314 12
Hookers have pie? I want a hooker!
redbluegreen 41
Why get Hooked on Phonics when you can get Hooked on Pancakes?
Alleged_Cranium 7
Hookers are a better deal than a lot of the "entitled princess" women that post on this site.
allmidnighteyes 11
Hookers and pancakes? I want that life. Alleged_Cranium - Damn straight. Preach it, sista.
C6Racer 0
Amen, 84.
bobys36 0
your evil for wishing that upon somebody!!!!!!
WhiiT3TiGeR 0
**** you and since we are hopeing right now I hope you get aids bluewaffle & redsock and **** the Devil 酔うvっ高校
Zakirsd_fml 5
And I hope you learn to spell
taytay6510 6
get a girlfriend?
p33dmypant5 0
Your life sucks haha