Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML
Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to leave me because she wasn't happy. Little did I know, she's been fucking her coworker for the past month or so. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend, who absolutely would never cheat on me because she’s been cheated on in the past and knows how much it hurts, has not one but two boyfriends on the side, who know about each other and do occasional threesomes. Lying bitch. FML
Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend already married, but she and her husband were planning some wacky scheme to steal all of my money, and run away to strike again in a new location, with new names. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML
Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML
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Top comments
Ikickmidgets 11
Go get tested before your dick falls off man!
LucianDeSouza 4
At least you know you don't have to support her unemployment .
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Comments (236)
zoraman5 3
Nice name
fatgirllovesfml 0
The nice thing about being single is I'm always there when I need me
13FTW 9
I believe 31 has a better name then op.
NoobHat 6
She should use the money to buy some class and self-respect.
sparklybetty 0
On the bright side, you're getting it for free as the other guy has to pay :)
margie2194 12
The economy affects prostitutes as well!
urdirtyolduncle 15
You can be her personal pimp, OP. Gater's bitches don't play.
wegetrz 14
So how did OP find this out?
iliketurdles 7
107, Gators bitches better be wearing jimmy's.
VeganVampyre 27
63- I doubt there's enough money in the world for her to afford that...
bugsfunny 0
Your better off without her OP
daysleeper666 1
158- You're. As in you are.
Alymc13 0
Ummmm, cuz she's having sex for money. That means no self respect. They go hand in hand.
jweezy89 4
@205, In civilized society, having sex for money is almost rock bottom. It's a pretty fair assumption that she has no self respect. Is anyone else getting the feeling that 205 is a hooker as well?
malvoliosf 1
#207, that's just you.
Alymc13 0
@207 haha yea im starting to thing that
Alymc13 0
@205 sleeping with someone for sex means they have no respect for you which translates that u have no self respect cuz u'd open ure legs for anyone who had the rite amount of money.
bamagrl410 31
219 - You mean we're not supposed sleep with someone for sex? Darn... We've all been doing it wrong...
LucianDeSouza 4
At least you know you don't have to support her unemployment .
Ikickmidgets 11
Go get tested before your dick falls off man!
lajaynay 15
And like from Madea... "Call 1-800-chokedathoe!!"
sierralovesyou 0
Hahahahaha!!! Pick up a phone quick!
Characterise 0
no I'm pretty sure by the way he put it they never have sex so she goes and finds someone who does
yourlifesfucked 0
THAT PUPPY IS ADORABLE!
j_cat187 20
Remember kids, never **** a hood rat.
fenceme235 0
what a *****. u deserve better
hayq 5
HEY! SHE'S A NICE LADY!
explodingmuffint 0
What if he doesn't deserve better?
fr33m3xican 0
what if he's getting reimbursed?
ericb8272 2
125- lmao. If you hadn't said it I was gonna.
crushedone 7
Pretty sure that means you're her pimp.
theghost1309 11
If she gave him a percentage than ya.
imcutefml 0
If she gave him ALL the money...
imcutefml 0
If she gave him ALL the money...
imcutefml 0
If she gave him ALL the money...
leadman1989 16
Tripple kill!!!
DrDilllonReese 12
Pimps take only about 80% being one i would know.
Acaprice14 9
Pimps take 90% the prostitutes get 10%. Come on.
flockz 20
im dating my right hand. it never cheats on me.
flockz 20
...or my cat's left armpit.
p8ntcheck 4
O.o
flockz 20
meow?
rawrkittyrawr 6
Ambidextrous = double the fun
j_cat187 20
Sorry for cheating on your right hand.
TipsyHobo 7
i call my left the stranger, for my threesomes:3
SystemofaBlink41 27
Yes sir... It sure is handy to have someone so close to you.
lostintime94 5
LOL I totally laughed out loud at this. Message me some time ;)
jake1632 9
Handgelina jolies the best! or maybe pam handerson..
NEEPLES 7
Note: rugburn may be aquifers from fur on cat.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Shes not a prostitute. Shes a female who enjoys a good time with other men for money because of her financial difficulties
Freeze_fml 17
Are you retarded?
goomonk 2
I THINK he's joking. I think....
bones_17 5
Same difference!!!
ninjuh_wingman 29
i am joking. shes totally a prostitite
pimpcakes2 11
If it's the same man, it isn't as bad. She's a sugar baby. Not like she's sleeping with any other man or woman, still sucks though!
SpicyDuck 22
Oh, so a prostitute?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
^ no a ninja
The_Troller 14
^ No. A pirate.
KushMastaDisasta 3
< sometimes curls into ball and prentends to be a rock, making rock sounds.
22cute 17
I agree wit you, ningawoman. If Op were helping to support her she would be "married" or the envy of other women. But because Op doesn't she's a dirty *****. Get a grip, people.
ShakeMeDown 12
Damnit 133 you combo breaker.
thebeautybleeds 17
Trying to figure out why this has so many thumbs down. I'm guessing it's because people can't recognize an awesome joke.
CleverBastard 8
In other words... *****
cheyluvsturtles 30
you basically just defined a prostitute
Ikickmidgets 11
well said #7
midlojoe 2
Ya think?!!!
jaygoose 5
So actually she is going to work.