Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
MrRawwr84 0
LOOL BITCH she treated YOU like the hooker!
angel55033 12
maybe she doesn't want to be a hooker anymore or than again since you think you were dumped by a hooker in the first place she probably didn't like the fact that you thought you guys were seeing each other, not everything ends like in the movie pretty woman ya know!
GoodLookingGeese 10
nice tattoo, how long did it take you having one?
GoodLookingGeese 10
interesting WHO is more honest, OP for paying for sex without any promises or all of those who tell him to get a girlfriend because the sex is free then..
ImaginaryFoe 1
Is English your native language, Cutesie?
Coldinside 12
As mentioned earlier, sex with a girlfriend is far from free. Prostitutes are cheaper and far more regular. FYL OP, for having that happen and having to deal with some of these harsh commentators.
ImaginaryFoe 1
By "seeing" you do mean using the services of, correct? I hope you didn't think she was your gf. The most failtastic reason for the 'break-up' would be you creeped her out by getting emotional but it is possible that she's just changing her line of work. She might've finally raised enough to pay those student loans. If you meant that your actual gf happens to work as a pros, Y still DI somehow. You just sound like you think you're better than her and, clearly, you're not.
mongoosemike 23
85 is realllllly pretty
Mattlovesfml 0
first time commenting on fml!!! Be nice, ppl. (: lool, are you sure that was ur girlfriend? xD
Drunkbunny 2
I'm like the others... if you were paying to see her and she still broke it off, what does that say about how sucky you are? But if you were dating her and she broke it off, it's obvious why. "I was dumped by a hooker." You looked down on her, like she was inferior. It's fine to not approve of a certain lifestyle, but you shouldn't DATE them if you don't approve of them. If you had that judgmental attitude with her ("You're my girlfriend but I don't have to treat you with respect because you're a hooker...") then I can see why she dumped you.
MuchDance90s 0
ita with this
dragonmystik3030 0
or they are sick of the wife/ gf winging and wining all the damn time:) a wife is expensive, after all your all ways paying for..... the.... W ashing I roning F ood E ntertainment :)