Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
Alaina91 0
you must have sucked... that's bad.
SadlyxMistaken 0
should have picked an uglier one. :)
StealthyChicken 2
why is everyone saying get a gf? he wants sex not nagging, b1tching, and no sex. plus a hooker is cheaper. u know what it getting and not investing in something u hope u get over a long period of time.
FML_Elle 17
Is that what you see a girlfriend as? Someone who bitches and nags? Girls are people too. Someone has mommy problems...
therav10 0
u text ur hooker?
aedans1momma 0
obviously she's had better
Aniblecoby 0
that's gross. you deserve it for hiring a hooker
Gundamu 0
Wow. There are a lot of prudes here. Time to find a new main, OP.
xGetScaredx 0
ahahaa!! that sucks... but I'd agree with some others .... get yourself tested for STD's
mrjude 3
Dude, I told you to stop being so clingy with her!
MzFitz 4
by far the BEST FML EVER! wow that just sucks lol