Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
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Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.
imsosleepy 9
A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?
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Comments (238)
folgy 10
obviesly the only chick you could get was hooker that in itself is FML
HeyitsShawn 0
truly sinful. ydi for giving a prostitute your number. shameful
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
So the sin isn't paying a ******-up girl for her body, but giving her his number? Nice.
jonny2x4 0
Just so you know, you can't turn a ho into a housewife.
MuchDance90s 0
YDI for seeing a hooker. You can't go buy women off a shelf like at Walmart. Once you start treating women like people, you will have a lasting relationship.
zombiedroogie138 0
yes eff your sad little life indeed!!! hahaha!!!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Dear John...
MissPo3s 0
Sad.
mpJDN 0
why would you date a hooker? your either a compulsive lying seeking attention. Or a sad, sad man seeking attention. (from hookers)
EvilDave 13
No, no, no. You misunderstand the FML. He was a regular client and she told him she didn't want to see him again. She takes money to have sex with money and she won't see him again even if he pays. There are exactly 3 explanations: 1) She has stopped being a hooker. 2) She has started to develop feelings for him. (Yes it happens). 3) He is so disgusting to her, that he can no longer pay her enough to sex with him.
stevenmx86 8
It's probably way too late to respond to this and actually have it read but, 118 why should anyone change their views on anything because some anonymous douche claims something happened to his mother years ago?
Erissa 2
YDI for thinking you meant anything to a hooker
EvilDave 13
Actually, many prostitutes like their clients, especially the higher class independent call girls who have a small group of regulars.