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Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML