Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Poor guy just needed and excuse for his premature ejaculation...
Ladiesman247 0
3 years too long soul sister :)
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Comments (168)
rachel_potter 13
Wow really? That lazy huh?
jayemdoubleyou 1
I think he busted early and just made up an excuse to stop.
drivesadodge 0
I'll finish you off if you would like :)
BloodyMary666 24
At least u didn´t wait till marriage.
PaulRum 2
Seriously? Is this guy in that poor of condition? Fat slug or what? He must get worn out just pushing out a loaf.
munny_fml 7
It took him 3 years to get you in bed?!?!
Locoluis 15
Your boyfriend is not a man.
HumanWiki 8
Waiting is a bullshit religious belief. It's just sex people.
ReynshineCutting 10
It is NOT just sex. I won't even bring religion into it but I will still go off on you. If you think it's all mindless ******* for pleasure, you have no clue what it's about. There's a deeper emotional connection that makes it special. Sure sometimes you do it to get off but when you're in a serious relationship it's about the emotional connection more often than the ******. It's sad you've never experienced it but you might never get to with your way of thinking.
cynicalhumanist 9
That's what *you* believe sex is. I believe sex is just sex; whether you add an emotional dimension to it or not is up to you. Indeed I enjoy it more when there's a strong connection, but the connection does not stem from the sex, but from the extreme trust you put in someone you love; kind of like how a kiss on the neck is more intimate than one on the cheek. (One is safe, the other show great trust). Sex means something different to everyone, so climb down from them high horses!
ilikepieandpie 11
I have to agree. I know that there can be an emotional thing if you want it to be, but if you just want sex, then that's what it'll be. The one above shouldn't be so up tight about it. Although, their virgin status probably explains their view.
monomiscuous 8
He's the legendary 2 minute man!
bbodin33 7
He's a 2 pump chump
Cutlesnap 4
BEST. FML. EVER.