Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Poor guy just needed and excuse for his premature ejaculation...
Ladiesman247 0
3 years too long soul sister :)
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Comments (168)
MikalaHart 4
He stayed with you for 3 Years until he got laid and you're the one complaining?
Haidee 0
Stfu.
DjeePee 25
She also stayed with her for three years until she got laid. Point being?
Bacontree 14
He must not want have wanted it very badly if he gives up two minutes in.
DjeePee 25
*with him.
ReynshineCutting 10
Hmm I dunno. Maybe he loves her? Maybe sex isn't the most important thing in his world and she is? Some guys will wait forever for the girl they love. That's a true man.
bjs1976 4
Babe, as ur profile pic suggests, you live in Neverland... The song goes... "Girls just wanna have fun" well guess what the guys version is? Lol - no hard feelings cutie
ReynshineCutting 10
Was that at me?
sushiya 8
ydi. and i didn't realize how shitty fml mods are. gonna delete this too i suppose :)
monagro 22
It can be. Still no reason to wait 3 years though.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Aww looks like someone for forgot their Flinstone vitamins. But 3 years for 2 mins he is now officially you're bitch, dominante him and make him sweat to please you.
Deathhound 27
Well, you two can still learn you know...
tjamurphy 5
Try having sex on a bed and not on a treadmill.
jobsman99 0
find someone else. or be ready to do the work like being on top all the time, stroking him off and ducking a lot of ****. but I would find someone else do you don't have to wait another three years.
mom2pen 4
I'm thinking I must be gay and was using you as a cover.
ZielZone 4
And you wasted 3 years that you'll NEVER get back... Good for you!!!
perdix 31
Three years of abstinence and you expect his **** to perform? I'm surprised it hadn't withered away and fallen off from neglect.