Today, at 7 a.m., I ended up outside in a nightdress, barefoot and in the rain. I've just found out that my two-year-old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
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Top comments
amadeusrexxor 0
I locked my mom out of the house once when I was two. Apparently, I was mad because she yelled at me.
diskincluded 0
Now you know why you should get one with an outside handle.
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Comments (25)
amadeusrexxor 0
I locked my mom out of the house once when I was two. Apparently, I was mad because she yelled at me.
FTSK3OH3 0
So get off of FML and find him! :O
mahimalil 0
I agree !
dk_fml 0
Same here, except it was about 5 degrees outside and I had to run to the neighbors in shorts and no shoes over the snow :-0
lalamike25 0
It's not a contest!
diskincluded 0
Now you know why you should get one with an outside handle.
ct_fml 0
yeah, i did the same thing but got locked out
24788 7
That's a bummer, but he was probably just listening to what you've said a thousand times in the past. CLOSE THE DOOR
elliekinslurvsya 0
unless it's locked, you can still move it with your hands on the glass...
godhelpme92 0
That sucks : (
CJGannon 0
Smart kid hahahaha
skyregit 0
Ok, how the hell did your son manage to get you to go outside, in a nightdress, shoeless, and in the rain?? I dont get it
BagelPower 0
She could've been letting the dog out and the dog wouldn't come do she had to step out. Or maybe she left something valuble outside and didn't want it wet.
PDSot 21
going out to smoke
heroqucas 25
I agree with 24, my parents went out to smoke a lot during the night, my dad would go out in the morning before getting ready for work too