Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Poor guy just needed and excuse for his premature ejaculation...
Ladiesman247 0
3 years too long soul sister :)
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Comments (168)
jmalaer 5
You are all so cute saying you don't want sex but you are very rare, what are the odds of finding someone you want to spend your life with who also feels the same way? Mirombo or however you spell it is lucky, let's face it, most people are incredibly sex driven, and if you don't put out you will have an unhealthy relationship, it has been show that most people who describe their relationship as a happy and healthy one have sex 4+ times a week.
MrsRonald 3
Umm..What?? Cite some sources, because I don't know what world you're living in. My husband and I have sex about twice, *maybe* three times a week. Sometimes we'll go a whole week without sex. And we have a perfectly fine, healthy relationship. We just both have full-time jobs and a lot to do! Relationships are healthy because both parties communicate their needs and sacrifice to meet those needs.
Rasetsu 10
I've always thought...all that thrusting must be really bad for the back.
LAuroraD 17
THREE YEARS HOLY CRAP