Miscellaneous: Strange noise

Strange noise

By Anonymous - 22/01/2020 18:00

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

agreeclassic 2 811

vote type 1 227

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By Fran - 09/01/2010 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

agreeclassic 49 538

vote type 1 3 374

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

agreeclassic 40 668

vote type 1 3 733

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

agreeclassic 3 738

vote type 1 384

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

agreeclassic 61 937

vote type 1 3 575

By pinkjade - 25/10/2011 07:17 - Canada

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

agreeclassic 32 939

vote type 1 3 548

Sobering

By TheLivingDeadTree - 19/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML

agreeclassic 432

vote type 1 109

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

agreeclassic 47 909

vote type 1 4 047

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

agreeclassic 26 277

vote type 1 2 747

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

agreeclassic 11 241

vote type 1 23 794

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 07:46 - Netherlands - Overveen

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 18 220

vote type 1 3 783

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 22 January 2020 19:49

I don't think you have the correct time. According to my watch it's... Time to move!!!!

mfranks19891989 10

Wednesday 22 January 2020 18:15

Ratatouille wanted you to play

Comments

mfranks19891989 10

Wednesday 22 January 2020 18:15

Ratatouille wanted you to play

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 22 January 2020 19:49

I don't think you have the correct time. According to my watch it's... Time to move!!!!

Phr0zen 11

Thursday 23 January 2020 0:37

Repost from January 2010. They really are running out of fmls when they have to recycle fmls from a decade ago.

WistayShlaio82 13

Friday 24 January 2020 12:33

Yep, time to move.

Cindell Hanson 7

Saturday 25 January 2020 23:03

Aw so cute!

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Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

agreeclassic 20 370

vote type 1 51 933

Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML

agreeclassic 1 914

vote type 1 899

Today, I found out that my half-brother from my mom’s side is dating my half-sister from my dad’s side when I caught them hooking up at our last family event. Even though they aren’t blood related, it’s still super creepy for some reason. FML

agreeclassic 1 054

vote type 1 268

Today, my 17 year-old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he overheated, but he still won't take it off. FML

agreeclassic 45 570

vote type 1 7 112

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

agreeclassic 105

vote type 1 518

Today, my wife is very insistent that we try to get our boys more involved in her religion, starting with church tomorrow morning. She foolishly trusts our boys to behave. They really don’t want to go and I’m convinced they’re plotting something bad, like real bad, the devious little hooligans. FML

agreeclassic 389

vote type 1 269

Strange noise

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