Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Poor guy just needed and excuse for his premature ejaculation...
Ladiesman247 0
3 years too long soul sister :)
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Comments (168)
biglittlehead 12
go find the batteries?
biglittlehead 12
Go get some batteries for your over used vibrator ;)
sexxme 9
The first time doesn't always turn out the way you expect it, unfortunately. Give it another try, practice makes perfect(:
moodyreallyrocks 27
Hi….
95powerstroke 0
He should be bashing that
Laxplayer1515 0
Is he gay??
HomeAl0ne 20
He just needs more match fitness. Schedule more games.
KH800 4
Crap, this got posted fast! :O This is mine, and I'd just like to say three things: A) He's a tall skinny guy, in shape B) It was his choice to wait, not mine C) I would have been on top but when he stopped, he didn't just stop, he got up and got a drink. LOL
deemoneyy 3
Do you realize how difficult it must have been to pump his hips after not doing it for three years? Why don't you get a pillow and get on top of it like he was with you and pump for two minutes....
phalcomb 5
Sounds like you seriously need to get a new boyfriend. Or just an extra one for when you want actual sex.
royalboy 0
aww that stinks
adiran_fml 1
that what happens when you let your bf out of sex for 3 years..