Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
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Top comments
KiwiExchange 16
That's pretty badass.
taoxyeuxmay 4
Your boyfriend sounds like a cutie pie!
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Comments (126)
BeautifulDizaztr 0
then go to school f***tard! he's not the only one that can get a degree, do something for yourself. then again, college isn't meant for everyone. afterall, someones got to flip burgers...
far_east 6
sounds like a chuck norris
fearfulsymmetry 1
Probably one of the more stupider FML's that I've read. so if you think you're stupid, then you're stupid, stop complaining and do something about it.
fearfulsymmetry 1
Ah, that's a typo. I meant to say more stupid. I usually pride myself on knowing good grammar, but I definitely messed up there. I have nothing against grammar freaks, but you shouldn't be so rude.
fearfulsymmetry 1
Haha, I actually am. I must say though, my first reaction was to call you an asshole, but I made an effort to be nice. I suppose I should have said that to begin with! :)
fearfulsymmetry 1
well, next time, I'll try to be a lot more defensive and bitchy! also, I find your picture ridiculously offensive, and I think I might just have to call you an asshole now. I'm french. ;)
fearfulsymmetry 1
Haha. and well.....I suppose you can't help the fact that you are (most unfortunately) English. :)
FFML_314 12
The fact that almost every comment is ending with a smiley face is annoying me. It's also telling me, that while you are trying to be nice to each other, you are gritting your teeth and forcing a smile. Pen, I am disappointed in you. These newbies have to go through initiation before you smile at them or even explain yourself. She's new, kick her down. She didn't have a typo in her first comment, she was just caught sounding stupid.
lilpunk91 0
Yeah i learned something similar about mine the only diffrence is he talks artcitecture
costner123 0
you're sleeping with a (eventual) doctor! it's only FML if he doesn't make it or if you get dumped...
rayquaza5000 4
He's studying too hard.
xxochristineox 3
aww what a cutie
thatguy326 0
well the correct sentence would be : he makes me feel stupid when he is ASLEEP or when he is sleeping. lol
suprmidgt 0
some guys like dumb women and not knowing Latin does not make you stupid. thinking that not knowing latin makes your stupid however does.