Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
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Top comments
stook5 0
sounds like you got a situation
omG_G00 0
lmfao, # 1. I refuse to believe you actually wrote that.
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Comments (133)
TeaLover_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lesbians can have sex? The icon thing on top is female and your name is Victoria.
omG_G00 0
lmfao, # 1. I refuse to believe you actually wrote that.
suppressed08 2
Her name isn't Victoria, that's where she is from. And lesbians can have sex....somehow...
BoyFromTheFuture 0
scissor me xerxes...
lmtlmt 7
LOL #1 you're a dumbass
lovefreaxx 0
no, lesbians just sit around talking, and never get horny.
stephanie0613 0
Ugh I choose to believe that people aren't as dumb and ignorant as #1 but people always prove me wrong. Op, FYL I don't understad how someone can get aroused by jersey shore? and now that the season is over what are you going to do? You should buy the season and play it everyday like 7 times a day :D
earljonez 22
your girlfriend is gawbage
jewban 3
yeahh 13 sp reference muthafacoo
sicron90511 0
ya dirty hamstah, I hope she doesn't leave her tampons on the floor as well.
thatisjank 0
104 you should feel even dumber now because Victoria is the name of the city in Australia not OP's name.
mddinsmore 0
Ayame just roflpwned that tiddle twat
gaarraa11 3
lol strap on!!
lilybugie 0
"like"
youshitme 9
Victoria isn't a city, it's a state
twilover220 0
lol 107, who's the dumb one now? Victoria is a state not a city =P
Avalanches 9
Victoria is a STATE!
stook5 0
sounds like you got a situation
Malia89 0
yo
crazedcabbages 0
ha win
frowwnysmileyfac 0
ha.
hawksduh 0
hahahaha
frieman123 0
clever!
Mister_Grinch 0
Lesbians? Hot.
molil_4810 0
Guido!!!!!
AndreaM_fml 0
Victoria is a state in Australia, genius!
LisaBanana 0
hmm, I don't think there are other states except the united states, hun.
papiii 0
lol shes white calm down
papiii 0
lol shes white calm down
nerdface89 2
I seriously hope you're a troll. If not, I fear for you and your children
xGet_Over_It 0
#16 - Just because it isn't called "United States of Australia" doesn't mean it doesn't have states.
chunky_baby 4
christ there are some stupid people here today...
nomudkips 4
Most other countries use the word provinces, but yeah they're basically states.
BedIntruder 4
welllll, obviously we have a LESBIAN in Lincoln park.
sarah8me 0
BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I liv that !!!
Elixa 0
lol
sarah8me 0
* love
purgarus 6
Haha xD
Mubus 0
10 = Pure Win!
Selena_is_back 7
lmfao
lead999 1
roflmao dyke
knibbsy 4
YDI for dating a girl who gets turned on by that vile wench Snooki.
stronghand0331 17
Wanna touch my poof Tommy? Are you a juicehead Guido?
knibbsy 4
Nope, not a juicehead guido. I'm only half Italian anyway. And yes, I'd love the poof!
zkchild 0
Sounds like you got a situation.
DEXter501 0
Record it and replay it whenever you want? But either way, sucks to know she's just not that into you.
suppressed08 2
That's genius. :D Have a cookie.
melly_fish8 3
I want a cookie :|
stewpididiot 11
sorry, we're out of cookies. how about some pie ?
mike3775 39
Thats what I would do Get every single episode, put it on Tivo, and have it always playing when she around. Pause at the end, get some, play next ep, rinse and repeat
ladybuuggy 0
well someones got quite a situation on their hands..just be a sweetheart and get some "snooki" ;)
Elixa 0
I wanna smush after Jersey Shore too... mmmm Vinnys big dick
Elixa 0
no anal second. I like to finnish with pickles in my mouth.
Elixa 0
well I'm about to go clubbing, so I guess I'll go **********.