Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
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Top comments
Calingaladha 21
Yeah, I'm sure his hands stay glued to that phone, too.
cksmith51 14
I honestly don't see why he'd have a problem with it. Does he not realize he's the one causing it?
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Comments (63)
Selene1090 26
Uh, mine actually encourages it. I can't imagine him NOT wanting me to do that. Maybe you should Skype? You can see and hear each other and you are paying attention to each other.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
I second the Skype idea. It's fun.
fashionbug9880 22
Skype isn't the most practical, though. You can sext practically anywhere (excluding the touching yourself part, but you could save that for when you're alone), while you wouldn't be able to sex-Skype around people. Sexting is more discreet.
butterfingers583 21
I hope he realizes thats supposed to happen and you could be doing something other than touching yourself like watching tv or something.
BexxyBb 12
I think that would be the idea. Being able to turn whoever you're with on. Distance sucks most days so having them touch themselves would be so sexy.. Then when reunited again, it would be all this heat between them. Sorry OP..
randomcritic 14
I usually strum a harp while sexting--am I doing it wrong?!
worldclassrager 41
What's wrong with that...who doesn't pleasure themselves with their hand with sexting?
writerchic85 26
What's the point of sexting then
hoosiergirl94 31
Isn't that the point of sexting?
Aquila_Umbrae 26
I encourage my partner to pleasure herself on her own if she wants to and I'm not around. Healthy sex is about being comfortable with your body as well as your partner's. It is all about pleasure you share not pleasure you dictate.
itzjstnx 18
he obvs has daddy issues :×
Tannasgh 22
If that distracts him...he must be a mess during the real deal...