Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend started crying because I occasionally text a work friend, for whom I have zero interest in. My girlfriend's medication has completely killed her sex drive and she no longer wants to be touched at all. She acts like hanging out with anyone is a chore. My social interaction is down to just our dogs. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
Next time you guys are having sex, start laughing out loud.
klorehore 24
My god, just tell her it's bothering you.
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Comments (126)
HOPPE612 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
complain about it
subiedude08 17
Waste of a 1st comment
HOPPE612 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm just doing it to people who take this shit to heart.
subiedude08 17
Are you retarded?
HOPPE612 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
depends what your definition of it is.
CookieLovesBoo 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why would you use that word 13# do you know how many children are actually mentally retarted . I bet you wouldn't be using that word if your brother was mentally retarted.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#26- It's "retarded." And as long as you're not actually calling a mentally handicapped person retarded, I don't see how it's offensive. One of my friends has a handicapped sister and she still uses the word, just not directed at handicapped people.
lolita88_fml 27
*complain complain*
bassbadass 12
Then you really need a new gf
mFUNdo21 17
he needs a new girlfriend all because this current one sucks at sexting? seems like a plausible reason for a break up "it's not you, it's your lack of sexting skills"
onealmxwilson 18
Maybe she's just laughing at the size of your penis, op
int15 18
No, he needs a new girlfriend because the current one is not mature enough.
Powerfull_fml 8
You don't know OP's age or his girlfriend's. Maybe he is the one being too mature.
CharresBarkrey 16
What does their age have to do with it? Age has very little to do with maturity, and we can TELL that she is immature from the FML.
LaughinStock 16
lol then I'll suck your dick lol :)~
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Well if you're offering.. *Zzippppp*
LaughinStock 16
That wasn't what I meant, I was recreating a conversation between op and his girlfriend. Unfortunately it didn't go well, oh well.
Sinistra_Blue 12
Wait, stormtrooper suits have zippers?
Wizardo 34
Maybe this time he'll hit something when he shoots otherwise its gonna be a very messy finish...
MerrikBarbarian 9
35- maybe it's a... Special operations suit? :p either that or they are referring to a zipper on the undersuit that I hope troopers have or it must make bathroom breaks awkward if they have to remove everything
lolita88_fml 27
LOL u sed dik LOL
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Hey now, 48, you don't know how well I shoot my beams nowadays. Years of practice has me hitting right on target. George Lucas won't put me in his movies anymore though.. I'm now the star of Obi Wang - Man of Many Galaxies Far Far Away.
False_Stupidity 42
Could be a storm trooper onesie.
\ 28
Spit or swallow?
flockz 20
chew.
jasmine2301 25
LOL you need to get out, 65.
Player_Three 2
Leave it to the Internet to turn a discussion about text talk during sexting into Stormtroopers having "special" suits.
Grauncho 27
Next time you guys are having sex, start laughing out loud.
Misswildsides 22
Or, you could talk to her about the problem and get it fixed. There's nothing more annoying than someone saying "lol" or "k" in every text.
Grauncho 27
That's just crazy talk #8.
_parth 20
Or laugh when she is undressed. Well, I think that might just going to make you single...
dread514 11
k, lol
FeatherTips 10
Either that or just flat out say "LOL", don't even laugh.
Kataclysm97 32
Lol that's hot -_-
devstick 4
you make me so hard lol
TrueTriage 16
17 if a girlfriend says "You make me so hard... Lol" we may have an issue. If your girlfriend says that to you... Might want to read an anatomy book
devstick 4
I thought her voice seemed a little deep
thattumblraddict 12
Well, I heard that laughing can add on to your lifespan.
starile 20
So does sex! Maybe OP's gf decided to put those two together so she can have a long, hilarious, sex-filled life.
Jjimen1654 9
But seriously how many times does one actually laugh when typing lol. Lol has become something we take for granted. :(
naznafeathers 22
Tell her you'll do it if she replaces "lol" with ";)"
iAlissa 34
I personally think winky faces are almost as annoying as "lol".
britts95 11
I would have to agree with #85, maybe it is time to ROFL everytime you sext to see if the gets that it is irritating. However the slight flaw would be that she may see the ROFL as encouragement to keep LOLing.
melbournearsenal 18
Does she say 'lol' when you're having phone sex as well ?
Calingaladha 21
Just start saying 'lol' when you talk to her. See how long it stays funny for her.
klorehore 24
My god, just tell her it's bothering you.
sadistmonkey 19
I'm guessing the OP did, which is why the girlfriend is upset...
aliciagentry 8
Sit her down and be honest. She will probably be embarrassed. But remember, you have a right to be pleased as much as she does.