Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
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Top comments
Calingaladha 21
Yeah, I'm sure his hands stay glued to that phone, too.
cksmith51 14
I honestly don't see why he'd have a problem with it. Does he not realize he's the one causing it?
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Comments (63)
GidleyWife 12
If he doesn't care about your pleasure now, don't expect him to pleasure you in the future!
pinfire 1
My control freak of an ex used to get mad at me for masturbating. He used to say, "I'm the I my one who should be allowed to touch you like that." He would literally get jealous of my own hands...I found out later that he was cheating on me for like the last 2 years we were together.
JebMcdeber 11
You know you're dating a ****, right?
Yung_pimpin 2
And that kids... Is how i met your mother
FMLusername969 21
Narcissist.
Daevas 18
I forgive you c:
Azidoazide 5
Wow, tell him you'll get your appetite somewhere else and watch the hypocrisy rain. What an idiot