Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a really hunky guy. We exchanged polite greetings, then, for some reason, I tried to break the silence by saying, "Nice weather today, huh?" He nodded, but then I awkwardly continued, “Too bad we’re stuck in here.” He gave me a confused look as the doors opened right on cue. FML
Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, my husband got on a business call, but he was not using his usual booming, baritone voice. Instead, he was soft and sweet and began with, "Hey, how have you been?" and quickly went into his office. Curious, I listened outside his door. It was a female co-worker. The work talk was waaaay too fun and familiar. FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her Bluetooth headset. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Br00tal666 0
LMAO I get it, I hate when that happens. :P
elmorous 0
lol that happened to me, so i pretended to be talking on mine.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
LOLSMILEYFACE331 0
I don't get how this is an FML, but okay... and #1(:
ElOres 2
YDI for being retarded
Superdestroyer1 0
LOL third :)
StoryOfTheYear 15
haha, what's for dinner xD I'd like to know how you answered that one
FateBurns 6
hahaha! This is like all of those stories where people are using the bathroom and they think people in the stalls next to them are talking to them but really they are on the phone!
jakii_ 0
WTF haha what was his reaction?!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
18, that's what I thought of too!: "I had barely sat down when I heard a voice from the other bathroom stall saying, "How are you?" I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine." And the other person said, "So what are you up to?" (What kind of a question is that?) At that point, I was thinking, "This is too bizarre," so I said, "Uh, I'm like you — just traveling." At this point I was just trying to get out as fast as I could when I heard another question. "Can I come over?" O.K., this question was just too weird for me, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I answered: "No. I'm a little busy right now." Then I heard the person say, nervously: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the next stall who keeps answering all my questions." "
darlinqqbella 0
You made yourself look like a complete dumb ass, but it'll be a new day. (:
FarSide 23
I HATE it when these f*ckers do that.
Br00tal666 0
LMAO I get it, I hate when that happens. :P
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Today, I went to the restroom. I had barely sat down when I heard a voice from the other bathroom stall saying, "How are you?" I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine." And the other person said, "So what are you up to?" (What kind of a question is that?) At that point, I was thinking, "This is too bizarre," so I said, "Uh, I'm like you — just traveling." At this point I was just trying to get out as fast as I could when I heard another question. "Can I come over?" O.K., this question was just too weird for me, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I answered: "No. I'm a little busy right now." Then I heard the person say, nervously: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the next stall who keeps answering all my questions." FML
KiddNYC1O 22
keywords: small talk
Evii_fml 5
#2 That'z From A Fuqkin Forward Yuh Fake Ass.! Haha.!
jakii_ 0
31- he never said it wasn't
Nena713 0
#31 why are you typing like an idiot? Whoever told you that was cute lied to you.
Br00tal666 0
WTF. Are you talking about???
Chuwy 0
haha! win
bloobelly 0
QUICK! whip out your phone and pretend you were talking on it.
Evii_fml 5
Haha Yuhr An AssHoe.! Get Off Of FML And Go Fuqk Yuhr Dad Hehe.! Have A Nice Day.!
TheOriginalKyrs 0
89 - WTF? Irrelevant and unnecessary comeback/insult when you were the stupid one. Fail. Also, go pick up a grammar book. It may do you some good.
bentleyGCspeed 0
the grammar book won't help. she's beyond hope. she will always be a debt to society. but she is pretty cute... haha
nikkibeez 0
that sucks! I'm sure you left a great impression hahaa
Bad_Boy1321 0
hahaa
alex1432 9
you are really pretty
Metzler31 17
yeah you are...
franniedottp 8
you two should just have a threesome with that guys cat. have fun.
Skroal_stomper 5
3 will you leave an impression on me?
Sydney92 3
why would your boss ask what's for dinner!?
erickk_fml 0
wow..not a very bright one are you?
starsbAby 2
I think I know u....
erickk_fml 0
aha & if u had a picture I would have maybe recognized u.
Turner_22 0
Or if she didn't have a private profile. ^ ^
Tpp4 0
it made her look like an idiot in front of her new boss. or maybe he thought she was on one too.
breenntt 0
LMAO. THAT HAPPENED TO MEEE ;D
flashback.miss 28
lol yea this is one of those things that will happen to one person or the either. laugh it off OP.. at least he knows youre friendly? right? RIGHT? :D just keep trucking on..
FaberDriveLuv 5
Lol, it happens :P
ifyouseekamy666 0
this isn't and fml either! ugh... *smh* ppl these days..
iRyanJr 0
Think on the bright side! Atleast you didn't fart before your boss walked in. Sorry if this is posted twice.
omgwork 0
Wouldn't you have figured out he wasn't talking to you by giving you 'the look' lol