Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I had a terrible dream where my aunt paid a stripper to have sex with me, since I'm 27 and haven't even kissed a guy yet. I ended up taking the dream-stripper to the mall for snacks instead. Even my dreams are mocking me. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
jonomc 12
This whole FML leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
allforfun 23
At least you didn't wake up next to him
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Comments (118)
Internetflakes 13
Bieber fever is still spreading in 2015
grogers311 20
Yup, totally straight... 100%
IAmMe204 25
From what I have learned from my introductory Psic classes that is completely normal.
mr_sarcastic416 29
psic classes? ya mean psych classes? gonna have a tough time there if ya can't spell the name of the class/course
Jets4Life89 4
Because you had a gay dream doesn't mean you should blame Justin Bieber, I saw Fight Club and didn't dream about Brad Pitt, quit being a douche.
weallknowwho123 6
Looks he might not be the ONLY one needing therapy appointemnts
beastwill64 16
There's an episode of Frasier where he had a gay dream, he ended up trying to analyze it but just figured out that dreams are just weird.
Goaliedude0724 12
News flash: you are not a totally straight male
samlovesham1234 9
I dare you to send him a bill.
ashweaver 12
Wet dreamz
worldclassrager 41
Again over a meal...good god... Could have been worse...right?