Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I had a terrible dream where my aunt paid a stripper to have sex with me, since I'm 27 and haven't even kissed a guy yet. I ended up taking the dream-stripper to the mall for snacks instead. Even my dreams are mocking me. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
jonomc 12
This whole FML leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
allforfun 23
At least you didn't wake up next to him
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Comments (118)
catmint 13
Fragile masculinity in its natural habitat.
spookyboy 20
You could of been sucking on his fingers and it still would of been considered a ********. (Joke being justin bieber is a HUGE dick)
Dick_diamond 22
*could've or *could have..
spookyboy 20
Thank you, English isn't my first language. But why do you feel like comments like that are necessary anyway? I'm not submitting an English paper it's just a silly comment.
CallMeWindSock 24
It's most likely because very many people make the same mistake you did. It's just annoying to see over and over again. Like idiots.
Born2Pizza 23
At least it wasn't really happening OP, regardless FYL.
jonomc 12
The big question though!! Did you swallow or spit?
XxDanno316xX 27
Gross.
Sathane 21
Holy shit dude! how long did you spend on this FML to be able to post so many comments?
randomman55555 11
probs swallowed
jonomc 12
Also I hope u didn't suck to hard or you might suck his brains out
laylahallab 5
What brains lol
firefighter925 18
Isn't justin beiber a girl?
eragon_1490 7
Internet confirmed not female
truckers_wife 23
don't worry about it, op. it was just a dream, people dream about the craziest things all the time. it can mean anything, look up key words in a dream dictionary like "gay sex" or "celebrity", I'm sure you'll find a lot of different meanings.
Mysterious_one 26
At least it was a dreams ..
Alexandria79 22
I'm pretty sure this is one fml that you should keep to yourself. haha I'd take it to the grave
lavapants 15
So basically you like shemales.