Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I had a terrible dream where my aunt paid a stripper to have sex with me, since I'm 27 and haven't even kissed a guy yet. I ended up taking the dream-stripper to the mall for snacks instead. Even my dreams are mocking me. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
jonomc 12
This whole FML leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
allforfun 23
At least you didn't wake up next to him
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Comments (118)
lexiieeex3 32
Well they say dreams can act as catalysts for reality...
mohamed_H 21
Justin bieber has a penis ? Must be a tranny
wanted_2_want 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Right?!? " 'Totally straight' ...my ass "... Said OP's boyfriend.
bryce0110 23
Just because he had a gay dream doesn't make him gay, dreams can be completely random.
Mackade 18
Could have been a nightmare.
Lalala579121 28
Certainly seems like one to me.
motortcitymoses 8
Definitely!
Krycek_fml 19
I think that goes beyond nightmare.
allforfun 23
At least you didn't wake up next to him
firefighter925 18
*her
ThatHorse 15
*it
Mpii 11
The post doesn't state that he didn't ;)
tlnorman 18
Do it he can afford it.
aceking602 11
are you an idiot you can't bill someone for therapy cause your a gay guy
Xamry14 10
Your apparently the moron. First off joke. Second off dreams don't make you gay. Dreams are random as ****
theplaguedkitten 5
sometimes in my dreams im a magical time traveling fox... but then i have to wake up.
NickACD 27
I love you
Glassdragons 15
your subconcious is telling you something mate. #lovewins
Metalslipp 15
I once had dreams similar in subject where I was extremely attracted to the way this train looked. My subconscious is definitely trying to tell me something.
enginsteve 17
#20 SIDERODROMOPHILIA " I'm going to **** every train"
fragmen52 18
#20 **** her right in the caboose
Marynfrankie 19
Sounds more like a nightmare to me!! lol
jonomc 12
This whole FML leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
chuka81 27
I think it left a worse taste in OP's mouth. Sperm can't taste too good.
jonomc 12
Erm that was the joke already......
tomvertigo 17
I agree #7. I know that, for me, it would be too much to swallow.
Internetflakes 13
if only you can stop spamming comments.
Krycek_fml 19
That's why Monica Lewinsky votes Republican now. The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
WorCiaran 5
That totally blows.
twitchywaffles 26
At least it wasn't hulk hogan
UhHuhHoney 20
"Give it here brother!"
jonomc 12
Next time have the roles reversed in your dream. Then take a step forward and choke the little shit.
burnthistown 20
Actually there's four comments of his pretty well back to back lol. Just scroll further down