Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
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Top comments
Goblin182 27
If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.
LadyGagasNipple 19
Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.
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Comments (122)
johncage 14
Considering you raised her, I think it's safe to say you're the one with egg on his face.
kumaneko1337 3
Not quite. The fruit is essentially a flowering plant's womb. The seed would be closer to a zygote, a fertilized egg cell. They're similar in function but not the same but a fruit is what the seeds are contained in whereas an egg is an unfertilized egg cell.
stativaqueen840 8
I'm going to assume she's not a vegan? xD
pere 11
So she's saying... that chickens... are plants?
Alex_________s16 8
Well then...
PHANX0M 8
She's you're child so she's you're fruit and she was a growing seed with a hard shell (the egg) in the womb...
PHANX0M 8
Why are all the profile pictures of the commenters of 16 year-old girls?