Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
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Top comments
Goblin182 27
If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.
LadyGagasNipple 19
Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.
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Comments (122)
fmlperson8264 16
that is eggstremely stupid
wanderer_alone 8
Tell that to vegans
Britt125 16
I once overheard teens trying to justify a cow being a vegetable (or maybe a fruit). I feel like she knows them, or was one of them. Then again, I'm pretty sure they were just joking.
CuriousYel1ow 13
So then I'm a fruit according to that logic.
AggieMike77 12
Does she attend a real school?
chelseabellsey 15
How is it possible to be that stupid? I don't understand!
pharm121 21
Well no need to save up for college... I'll pray for her to complete high school.
orios105 18
it comes from the eggplant. lol
deadclown6 9
She's got s point there at least
False_Stupidity 42
Well Duh!.. how else do we get eggplants!? Actually, I think your daughter has been playing the Sims 3 too much.