Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML
Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
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Top comments
ComTlancy 12
you've got to be kidney-ing me...
SophisticatedJel 0
tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!
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Comments (140)
evaki1 12
Get her a timeout
willpierce 0
poop
allthatremains25 0
how would you know?
OCDC 9
#14: What exactly do you propose OP should do, surgically reshape her head?
genesisnirvana 11
she needs to get whooped not a time out.spare the rod spoil the child.
alexsmokesdro91 0
Tell her she's adopted.
glenzhao2 16
Tell her you're an alien and if she misbehaves you might abduct her.
Jake_2013 0
They breed em weird in Pennsylvania. lol
iEatGuppies 0
can't wait until she's 16 or on her period. oh just 10 years left.
supertacowaffle 41
BEAN HEADS.
DatWhiteGuy 0
Crap I mean 61
FarSide 23
What a coincidence! Your head is shaped like your ass.
iEnvade 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm kind of getting sick of these "Today my young child/relative made fun of me/said something inappropriate." FMLs. Maybe it's just me but it seems they're letting an awful lot of them on the site and I don't think they're THAT funny..
rocketeer_97 1
154- Then just skip to the next one. No one said you HAD to read these types of FML's.
iEnvade 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So I'm supposed to use my psychic powers to know which FMLs are about what before reading them? I see how it is... forget I said anything ;)
taytay6510 6
tell her if that's the case you won't talk to her..ever, and then she'll realize what an ungrateful bitch she's being...some people's kids.
eshhayz 0
which head ?
crazycornn 0
tell her that her head is shaped like a pear and she's lucky you let her outside of attic. Then mention she has a deformed twin who lives in the attic. that'll get her, haha.
KingGeorgeGal 12
I don't say this often but YDI for not raising your kid to be respectful.
1molinamatt 5
i agree with u lol some parents need to calm down haha
cheyennesioux2 2
who said they had to be funny ?
iEatGuppies 0
how about once you find out they're about that, you skip to the next one without being all bitchy about it. no one cares what you feel about the FML.
phuckejiu 3
"timeout" like that actually works
bnvc 0
Its her daughter, dummy
Panthersfan2834 3
kids say the damndest things
HugoBosss_fml 0
Let's see how this rolls out in about ten years..
imaberry95 0
give the brat squash for every meal, that will solve your problem
Thabb 0
Hey, at least she's honest. I'd much rather be around honest people who tell me they hate me than liars who act like my friend and make fun of me behind my back.
xroflmao 0
I believe it's darnest.
Hoarr 0
The truth hurts .
kittykat1497 7
bitchy kid :P
taeko93 0
You are pretty
CryMoreFMLs 15
^^^ You are creepy. FML isn't a dating service. PM if you wanna do that crap.
missIrene 6
right? I would have got beat for that. damn diva
SuperCassie 0
brat!!
DietSunDrop 0
shes got some sass
ComTlancy 12
you've got to be kidney-ing me...
ThaBeasty01 5
woww . smh
Predental 5
╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮
Saltime 0
Get out. Now.
iheartbewbies 0
4, I LOL'd
Soukey 0
haha punny
yummayy_ 11
No, I'm bean-ing serious. :)
CRrawsum 7
Hahahahaha, this is so funny.
notsocrazee 0
... where did you see a kidney sir?
angelpies 0
178, learn to read.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
hmm... in the FML?
emmolyn 1
Nice one!
TheNewGuy03 29
so, yeah, she needs to be grounded. if not, the problem will grow, and you will be the root of said problem. |the kid|
WTFGOTOHELL 0
seriously..?
WellThatSucksMaj 0
hahahahahaha
ThaBeasty01 5
kids these days .. -__- smh
ThaBeasty01 5
calm down , I have 3 siblings I take care of everyday , how you gona talk to me like you know me or something ?
Garyy_fml 11
it's probably KaySL's time of the month.
BaconDave 12
Why would you call Garyy Davyy?
btnhdude 0
she said 'garyy/davyy' as in garyy or davyy? maybe she knew you'd say something Bacondave.
shovels 0
KaySL is a beast. 'nuff said.
KingDingALing 9
Hey, "Garyy", you sure know how to make yourself look ignorant. Just because KaySL is trying to make a point, a very valid point I may add, doesn't mean that she's telling someone off because she's on her period. Go smash glass bottles on your head until you die. 59- KaySL isn't dictating anyone. She's just letting her know that she's being a hypocrite. Why would anyone comment on something that they don't know about, but act like they do know about it? You shouldn't because you WILL make yourself look completely stupid.
BaconDave 12
Wow Kay, you are so friendly!
DocBastard 40
Ain't this great? All this bullshit commenting about bullshit comments? It's fun, isn't it? WHEEEEEE!! Seriously people (ie leester), this isn't what the comment section is about. Don't believe me? 1) Go read the rules 2) Then read the FAQ 3) Then PM Sirin or Alan or any of the mods for confirmation 4) Then shut your pieholes. I assure you no one is interested in reading all that crap.
ThaBeasty01 5
is this your second account Kasyl ? for you can say good things about yourself and feel good for once ;D ? it's alright :)
ThaBeasty01 5
get off his dick ? haaa :)
NomOnShroomz 14
I'm just gunna pop in here and say, KaySL, you take this shit way too seriously.
KingDingALing 9
Thabeasty01, you seriously need to shut the **** up. First off, you don't know how to use proper grammar. Second of all, you're NOT funny. Third of all, the winky faces and smiley faces don't make your arguments any stronger. Lastly, nobody is on anyone's dick. Just because nobody agrees with you doesn't mean that they're on the other person's dick. You are retarded and you need to go kill yourself, you ******* asshole.
KassandraDePaz 0
Shrikee , Yeaa .. I'll just leave it at that :D
johnnybagodonuts 2
what 106 said
lilmisslovely13 15
KaySL seriously... I didn't wanna get involved, but really? He was obviously making a joke. Yeah, a kid hasn't lived enough to say that, but he was kidding. I honestly think you should just let it go. I agree with DocBastard... You're making to big of a deal about this. Just calm down.
RyanMacVey 17
wow whats with the drama boiiz? .... tbh i dont think someones age can define there experience with kids and stuff... i get where your coming from kay... but you gotta get your facts straight first bruv
ThaBeasty01 5
lilmisslovely13 ; that's cool :P haha , hey you don't sound really lovely , and all these fake accounts from KaySL are getting annoying ..
mintcar 10
"You need to go kill yourself..." Wow, what he said is nothing to get this angry about.
airforce987 20
sounds like she's heading in the right direction
Garyy_fml 11
If she wants to be a professional bitch
airforce987 20
it's called sarcasm, for those of you who can't understand it
Garyy_fml 11
Only one person commented. whose "All of us"?
Soloman212 28
He's referring to the thumbs down, probably.
The_Weirdo 10
If you don't like thumbs down, learn how to use sarcasm the right way on the Internet.
GoingLesbian 0
I thought they used it correctly. Just saying. Tsk Tsk uptight people the whole lotta ya. Right direction, wrong map.
PinkHorset 5
BAM! She would instantly get a taste of her own bad azz medicine!!!
cole2424 0
dumbass
Mpsteve13 7
at least you look healthy
freddyisepic 2
just wait until shes 16
SophisticatedJel 0
tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!
transilvanianson 3
hahaha that's awesome XD
lyndz_20 8
LMFAO!!! That should teach the lil' bratLMFAO!!! That should teach the lil' brat
bellakaykid 6
kids are funny.