Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
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Top comments
ThatLastKid 21
How does one go 17 years without knowing how to crack an egg? Or that it needs to be cracked?
am1717 22
You raised a bright one huh :)
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Comments (61)
ssnow_fml 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Was she blonde?
jadenjacksonm 14
I'm sure you knew this was going to get down voted.
mattyiscool123 26
Why are you asking?
thatsjustgreat1 16
Are you blonde?
Rich531 21
Well at least she followed directions? Seriously tho good luck to her in college
Nessco 36
Perhaps you need to spend time with her in the kitchen. She followed the instructions, she just didn't know to not take them so literally. Use this as a good opportunity to bond more with her.
xxcutekatxx2 13
I can't cook to save myself. I can cook pancakes, fried eggs and packet foods. I think I'd burn a salad if I was to ever make one. I'm an accounting student with high distinctions, there is no correlation that just because she can't cook that she won't do well in college.
ThatLastKid 21
How does one go 17 years without knowing how to crack an egg? Or that it needs to be cracked?
sturschaedel 27
Even my three-year-old knows to Crack eggs, and can do it himself if they don't need to be separated. My six-year-old can separate them. How can one get to 17 without gaining that knowledge SOMEWHERE?
inks98 14
Makes me feel better about my cooking skills XD
kirasant 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yup, I had to give OP a YDI cus really, she raised this idiot.
JustTheTruth42 13
I don't see how this us OP's fault. The daughter is 17, so she SHOULD know better.
LittleLambii 24
has she never cooked or something? my mom started teaching me to cook at 13
negb 30
I agree with 26. I don't know how to cook much but man, at least I understand you need to crack the eggs before mixing them.
ladoom 23
Did you never show her? Or did she never see you crack one? Surely she has been in a kitchen before...
KayleeFrye 39
That's what I wondered. No one should get to the age of 17 and not know the basics. I think every person, male or female, needs to learn basic cooking skills. They don't need to be gourmet chefs, but someone who is 17 should be able to cook a decent meal. Or at least know to crack an egg.
redscarf_fml 8
Have you not baked/cooked with her previously? She should have learned how to crack an egg by now...
am1717 22
You raised a bright one huh :)
aznboi415 13
Yup she definitely raised an egg...
BlueBaronBitch 22
You would think just from watching her parents do it she would at least know to open the egg first, no?
cacheson 42
Sometimes you have to crack a few eggs to make... Well, it wasn't an omelet. Clearly the saying doesn't apply.
crimsonlover4 31
And I have a suspicion that the omelet would be just as bad or dangerous to eat lol But OP should be proud that her daughter follows directions...just a little too eggxactly.. :/
RageWolf16 31
Congratulations you raised an idiot
Morning_fml 22
Shoutout to #10 for telling it how it is.
jellybean1996 7
Time for a parent-daughter cooking adventure!